Hey Cousin!

Dear Friend,

For those of you following the progress of the Road Warrior crew, I am writing to you tonight from Stone Mountain, Georgia, outside of Atlanta.

Today as I sat with my family in an Atlanta restaurant, I couldn't help but notice the guy who was sitting just across from us. You see, he looked a lot like me. It was the look of his eyes, and his eyebrows, I think. But then he was "black," and I am "white."

He was an attractive guy (of course). And he was with a very attractive young lady. So we both have good taste. ;-) Could we be related? I have heard that we may have distant family in Georgia. I suppose that we could be cousins.

But then of course we are related. Modern DNA research has proven that humankind is very closely related. We are all, everyone, close cousins.

Yet, despite the familiar looks, I instinctively noticed those features of this man that were different than mine. In fact, I gave those features a name, and I then defined this man by that name (and me too). He was a "black" man and I was a "white" man, remember?

Why did I do this? Cultural training, certainly. But why do we all seem to insist on describing people who are not part of our immediate family in terms of the ways in which they look different from us?

Some anthropologists say that mankind has an ancient genetic tendency to be clanish and tribal. We favor those people more closely related to us over those who are not closely related. This historic adaptation most likely once served to help our ancestors survive in a dangerous and primitive world.

But today, if we do not learn how to quickly shed this genetic drive towards thinking in terms of "we" and "they," we will destroy ourselves and the world. Today, a few determined people who hate their neighbors (even though they have probably never met them) can do a great deal of damage to us all.

But what could happen that might suddenly bring all of humanity together to overcome this threat to human survival? What hope do we have of changing hundreds of thousands of years of genetic adaptation overnight?

Only the widespread perception of a common threat can achieve such a miracle. Only the survival instinct that created this genetic trait will likely succeed in erasing it.

Perhaps a visit from ETs would unite us? Or perhaps the remnants of human civilization after a devastating world conflict will get the point?

I do not know what the solution will be. Yet somehow, I remain optimistic. I do not believe that we have come this far in order to simply blow it all now. I can envision too many wonderful futures to believe that none of then will come to pass.

I am an optimist, yes. But I truly believe that we can and we will come together.

You can start the process yourself today. Expect nothing from anyone. Spread kindness and compassion to everyone you see. Give without expecting anything in return. Give instead for the good that it does for your soul. Don't try to change your neighbors, just respect them as they are.

And finally, notice in the strangers around you those things that bind you together, and not those things that separate you.

You just might discover a whole lot of long lost cousins.

All the best,

Hugh

Why Twitter Speech Matters

Dear Friend,

Today I write from Mobile, Alabama!

In the ongoing saga of my Twitter twubbles, I hit up a conversation with someone on the getsatisfaction.com/twitter website. My new friend experienced the same troubles as I with Twitter, but he questioned the need of anyone to have the likes of 20,000 followers on a social network.

I thought that he made a good point. Below is my answer:

Hi Trinlayk!

Thanks so much for your reply!

Your points are well taken. As a practical matter, it is difficult to deal with the tweets of 20,000 followers flying by as you try to read them. Annoying, in fact.

You ask an excellent question that begs to be explored further - Why does ANYONE need 20,000 "friends" on Twitter?

Here we get into questions that go way beyond user practicality or fear of triggering spam software. We go into the question of who gets access to the collective ears of the "masses." Particularly when those masses actually specifically chose to listen to what you might have to say.

As I noted in my earlier post, I have huge doubts that the Hollywood stars or politicos will ever run into the issue that you and I have with Twitter. In effect, this means that Twitter, which is quickly developing into something way beyond a social website into a real virtual space for world community thought, will be governed by rules of prior restraint on speech based on WHO YOU ARE.

Such a result, which I do not think is intentional but nevertheless exists, guarantees that a few who already control access to the traditional media such as TV and radio, will continue that media control in the Internet communications channel that is Twitter. Such a result has huge social and political implications that I assure you are not lost on those who watch these issues.

If our only concern is ourselves and our small group of close friends, all of this is just blather. But if we actually care about who has access to the ears and minds of the greatest number in world society, then we cannot let Hollywood, CBS, Sony, Paramount, Oprah, Disney, and Rupert Murdock and the rest, be the sole arbiters of the points of view that the vast majority of our friends and neighbors accept as truth. And we particularly cannot allow certain voices to be silenced, as you and I have been, by people who are not our followers.

Apparently, 20,000 people cared about what I had to say. They cared enough to take the time to follow me. And then to choose not to unfollow me.

True, many of these folks may have just followed me because I had a lot of followers. At least later on when my follower numbers had grown large. But I can never know for sure what anyone's reasons for a follow is. No one should know. Decisions like who someone follows, and why, are the most private kinds of decisions that anyone can make. I don't have a right to know why.

But the reality is that these folks chose to follow me, and perhaps you, too, and I don't think that it was an accident. Else I could never repeat the feat, and yet I am certain that I could, with a lot more hard work, repeat it. And I would not need any more technical trickery than the big names might use. I am not that technically sophisticated. I didn't even know to back up my followers! I just did my best to deliver quality tweeting and valuable content.

So, that is why I believe that I need to have 20,000, or even 200,000 followers. Not because it is easy for me. Not because I can easily follow or respond to all of them - I cannot - but because they voluntarily chose, or could choose, to follow me. And to continue to follow me. And at any time they are free to choose to unfollow me. And to act on that choice.

No one should have the power to stop them from making those choices freely. NO ONE.

All the best,

@hughdeburgh

I haven't had a lot of time to tweet on Twitter as I have been putting in about eight hours of driving each day, with occasional breaks for a rest.

We're collecting a lot of cool stories that I plan to share with you very soon. Yesterday, we spent the day in the French Quarter in New Orleans. Tonight we will try for Atlanta, where my wife has an aunt. If we don't make it, some Wal-Mart along the way will surely be our transient home.

But then again, in the Road Warrior, everyplace is our home!

Until next time,

Bon champs!

Hugh

Twitter Twits?

Dear Friend,

Hello from sunny New Orleans!

I was preparing to write today's post when I received a note from a fellow Twitter user regarding his account's suspension from the Twitter social network. I found myself writing a rather long reply (as you know I often do), and I thought that it might be worth posting here.

Some of the material is very specific to my issue with Twitter, but I thought that there was enough there that went deeper to make it worth sharing with you. What do you think?

So here goes...

Dear quincy -

I agree completely.

My twitter.grader.com grade for @hughdeburgh was between 99.95 and 99.99 when my acount was suspended. I was growing like gangbusters without really trying. I had about 20,000 friends on the Twitter network. And I sell nothing. I simply liked to retweet things that I thought my followers would enjoy, and I also included thoughts of my own. Sometimes, of course, I would chat with friends.

I talked about the death of a close friend. I talked about the beauty of a rainy evening. And the humor of insects attacking my windows. I was inspired by the people I followed. And I tried to pass that inspiration on to as many people as I thought would enjoy it. And clearly they did enjoy it.

But I was suspended.

Why?

As you said, users with large followers cannot be expected to do everything manually like a user with 200 followers. And we have no clear guidance as to what exactly we have done that might trigger their automatic suspensions. For all I know I may get up to 20000 followers once more only to be kicked in the groin again (for that is exactly what it feels like).

I wonder if Oprah or the other big name "stars" are held to this standard? Can you imagine the press reaction when the Twitter computers automatically suspend Oprah's account because her staff might use some automated tool, and then Twitter takes over 30 days to get around to reviewing the computer's decision? I wouldn't wish that on Oprah, of course, but it's not going to happen, is it? But how can it not happen?

Do you think that their computer algorithm that monitors tweets has a programmed exception for any tweets from Oprah or from any other well known figure? How else could they avoid such an occurrance?

The obvious double standard that clearly exists here smells to me like discrimination in its most blatant form. How does this look to you? Is a TV star with 20000 followers more worthy than a non-TV star with the same followers? Have we really returned to the old class system?

Or maybe they just don't want too many more people with big accounts? Too much work for their computers to deal with (at least if those people don't have powerful friends)?

I am speculating, of course. Since a human has not bothered to contact me, that is all that I can do.

To me Twitter was my contact with other minds that I could reach in no other way. The idea that some inanimate object or anonymous techie could interject itself or herself into that intimate if public conversation and rule it "unacceptable" is analogous to some self-described authority figure jumping into my mind and telling me to stop thinking this or that because it fails to meet somebody else's rules for acceptability. Or perhaps to cut off my telephone service after a conversation with a friend for the same reason.

How do you think the public would react if AT&T or Verizon were to cut off your phone service due to unspecified "suspicious activity" and then take their good old bureaucratic time getting around to telling you what that suspicious activity was supposed to have been, effectively cutting you off from an important segment of your human connections in the same manner that the Iranian government is right now cutting off protesters cell phones in an effort to control the content or manner of their speech?

You are absolutely correct about the idiocy of Twitter pi**ing off customers. Twitter is hot right now, but it could be replaced in a few weeks by a better network that takes care of its people.

Clearly, Twitter is overwhelmed by the impact of this social networking technology, and our situation is a consequence of that. But they have no choice but to deal with their suspension system or they will make enemies of some of their community's most popular members - it's leaders in fact.

Perhaps Twitter's principals hope to sell Twitter before the cost of their poor service becomes apparent? I sure hope that is not their strategy.

The reality is that the community of users are the true "owners" of Twitter. We are the ones who are creating Twitter's value by spending so much time and thought energy to make Twitter a place worth being. And like the owners of a popular bar or night spot, Twitter's execs need to understand that their customers can easily move down the street and continue whatever they were talking about there.

But we don't want to go anywhere else. And we don't want annoying salesmen bugging the he** out of us while we hang out either. The question is, do Twitter's people know the difference between community leaders and annoying peddlers?

If Twitter execs don't understand their business, they will soon discover their error, perhaps too late. For all of our sakes, I hope they are able to fix this issue quickly.

Best of luck to all!

@hughdeburgh

I hope you have an absolutely wonderful weekend!

Your friend,

Hugh

Are You Dead?

Dear Friend,

How do you know you are dead? You suddenly discover that you have no more problems to solve.

If you are working hard to solve all of your problems, to prepare for every contingency, and to tie up every loose end before you cast off in pursuit of your dreams, then you are on a fools errand.

Problems and challenges are what define life. The process of life is defined by how we approach and, hopefully, overcome these challenges. New challenges will come, of course. And if they didn't, we'd probably create some.

As humans, we need challenge. It is what defines us. Sitting around in a rocking chair is as deadly an act as base jumping. Perhaps it's worse.

Our bodies expect to be busy. Our minds and our muscles expect and need exercising, or they atrophy and die. A dull and sedentary existence tells your body that it is no longer needed or useful, and it just shuts itself off.

Sure, some of us are more active than others. I am quite guilty of couch potato living myself. But at least be aware of the nature of your physical self. You body and your mind need challenge to thrive. And this fact does not end just because you are living the life you love. The opposite is true.

What is different for happy folks than for everyone else is that work comes much easier because it is the right work for you. It is fun. And fun is not dangerous. In fact, I am certain that fun will extend your health and lifespan substantially over the lifespan of those who do not experience fun regularly.

And anyway, what is life worth if living isn't fun. Maybe dying would be better?

Since I am having fun, I expect to live a very long time. I highly recommend it!

All the best,

Hugh

Cookin' at the Wal-Mart

Dear Friend,

After our regular trip to the RV service center today to do some last minute debugging to the SS Road Warrior, we headed down the road to Houston, Texas.

We plan to visit a local Montessori middle school in Houston.

Montessori educational approach is best understood in the PreK and Kindergarten years, and sometimes for Elementary schools. Yet it is a rarely used conceptual approach to dealing with education in the middle school years.

We hope to learn more about what they are doing and then to pass on this info to other members of our local community who are thinking of starting such a school.

We also may visit the Johnson Space Center to expose our kids to the manned space program, something that affected me greatly as a child and yet is almost invisible to today's children.

Our future route man take us through lower Louisiana and the Gulf Coast region. Perhaps a stop at a beach is in order?

Tonight we reside in the outer parking lot of a Houston Wal-Mart. Our companions are a couple of over-the-road truckers who are trying to catch a few winks before heading off to distant locales.

Originally we were going to stay at a local campground, but when we arrived we were notified that it was completely full. It didn't look that good to me anyway.

We were quite surprised that the campground was full as just last night we stayed at a first class campground further north that was practically empty. Maybe we should go back!

Anyway, the journey continues...

Talk to you soon,

Hugh

I'm Still Hot!

Dear Friend,

I write this from a beautiful RV park in eastern Texas.

Our gang got off to a lazy start today but we quickly discovered that something was wrong - our generator was running but we weren't getting power. After again returning to Fun Time RV in Cleburne, Texas, their service staff determined that the batteries that had been sitting in the vehicle for so long without regular use had gone bad. Two new batteries later, and all was well.

So we finally got on the road. Our sales rep Jeremy suggested a lovely winding route back east through Vicksburg, Mississippi, on to Gulfport, Mississippi, on the Gulf of Mexico, to play on the pristine white beaches, and eventually on home.

Around five in the afternoon, near Tyler, Texas, we discovered that one of our air conditioning units was not working. During inspection we had discovered a similar problem with the other air conditioner, and after some cannibalization of a similar stock vehicle, they got it going.

When this most recent A/C failure occurred, we were rolling down the highway. I was afraid that it was the return of our electrical issue, but apparently it is not. Perhaps these RV air conditioners just can't hack these 85 degree F nights and 105 degree F days.

Tonight we quietly roast while our one remaining A/C unit valiantly attempts to keep us breathing.

When the A/C pooped out, I called my new friend Jeremy, and he said to just bring it back, they'll make it right.

And that is what they have done every time.

Do all of these failures mean that there is a problem with our new RV? Not at all. We are growing more fond of our new rolling home every day. But there are complicated systems in this thing, and if they are going to fail, in my experience, that failure will occur right now, during our shake-out cruise.

How is the crew holding out? Just fine I think. We have spent time at Wal-Mart, outfitting our land ship and figuring out how a family of six can function with reasonable comfort in an eight foot by thirty-four foot space. It sounds impossible but it's not.

For us the key has been compartmentalizing the space. Wide open space sounds nice, but what keeps the peace is separate spaces for the kids and for us, with a shared common area in the middle.

Anyway, as promised I'll keep you updated as things progress.

All the best,

Hugh

Dispatch from He**

Dear Friend,

DATELINE: Cleburne, Texas
ABOARD THE SS ROAD WARRIOR

As I speak The Passionate Warrior and his intrepid crew make final preparations for setting sail across the North American expanse.

Enduring Texas heat in excess of 100 degrees F every day this crew is nevertheless prepared to sail through the heat of he** to reach their ultimate destination, which destination is of course completely unknown at this time.

This will be a short dispatch as the crew will be settling in for a quiet evening's sleep so as to be fresh and bright for a morning shove off.

The initial course will be a quick trip to our home port to make some last minute arrangements and to also make some minor custom modifications to the SS Road Warrior prior to setting off on the main portion of our expedition for an undetermined period of time.

You can expect regular dispatches from this reporter on occurrences of note as well as on Hugh's famous long-winded analysis of why some minor matter as a fly buzzing around on board reminds him of world peace or some such nonsense.

Until my next dispatch,

Good Sailing!

Hugh ;-))

What's Your Alamo?

Dear Friend,

Today me, my wife and the four kids spent the day futzing around, wasting time while waiting for Monday to roll around.

The RV dealer says that our new motorhome is ready, but we expect to spend Monday morning going over a detailed punch list of systems that we will want to test and get repaired, if necessary, before we shove off.

We have decided that after leaving the dealer we will first head straight home. We want to pickup a few items and my oldest daughter has a doctor's appointment that we don't want to miss. There is some last minute provisioning, and I may want to work with a friend to do some modifications and tweaking to the rig before we head out. From home we will likely head north. Perhaps far north.

We spent part of today buying a few laptops for the road at a Best Buy store near Austin, Texas. Did you know that there seem to be Best Buy stores on every corner in Texas? I have also never seen so many nice new shopping centers in this state. It's an easy place to spend money.

And everything here has been quite nice. People are relaxed and friendly. And we hear surprisingly little accent in the voices of those around us, including people born and raised here.

It seems that the culture across English-speaking North America is becoming quite homogenized. Whether that's good or bad I'll leave to you.

One thing that is noticeable here in Texas is the great pride that people have in their state, and in particular in their flag.

It is typical to see across the US huge US flags flying at car dealerships and at the occasional fast food place. It's a great marketing technique. And the flags are quite attractive.

In Texas you will see as many, if not more, huge Texas flags flying from these flag poles as you do US flags. Often the Texas flags fly alone, without an escort from an equal sized US flag.

I leave this state with the distinct impression that the connections between any other place and Texas have always been and will always be just a bit tenuous.

In San Antonio, we visited the Alamo. I was shocked to discover that not one of my kids had heard of it. When I was a kid, every one knew the story of the Alamo. I think that in the 20th Century, such stories were repeated more in the spirit of patriotism, but today I guess schools and the media no longer consider them important.

We watched an IMAX movie about the battle of the Alamo, and we read the historical presentations and displays.

What I learned is that Texans went from being Europeans, US citizens, or from other areas of Mexico, to being "Texians." In about ten years after settling the Texas state in Mexico, the Texians fought for an won independence from a Mexican dictator, becoming an independent nation for a few years, and then joining the US as a state. A few decades later, Texas left the union and joined the Confederate States, and was returned to the union only by overwhelming force. In its early history Texas was once a colony of Spain, and later of France. The amusement park, Six Flags Over Texas, derives its name from this multicolored past.

As you probably know, the story of the Alamo is really the story of a determined spirit of independence that cannot be broken. Liberty or Death was their theme, and they chose death over surrender.

In the Alamo I found a small shrine donated by a Japanese gentleman prior to 1920. He saw parallels in the Alamo story to the traditions of the Samauri in Japan, and he wished to commemorate that shared heritage.

Perhaps there are parallels between these two traditions, but I think that those similarities end at the willingness of the participants to die for their principles.

The Samauri code is a code of medieval honor and loyalty. The spirit of the Alamo is a spirit of resistance to submission. The Samauri celebrated personal discipline. The Alamo defenders shunned it. But both groups could work as a team with great efficiency when circumstances required it.

The Samauri fought for personal honor. They defended and enforced the edicts of authority figures. They lived according to a shared idea of what constituted a righteous life, much as a religious colony might today.

The Alamo spirit was based on a shared belief in a right to individual freedom and independence - on the idea that any individual should be free of the control of his or her neighbors, and free to live life as he or she chooses, regardless of what authority figures, or neighbors, might think.

Both groups were willing to die for what they believed in. Not because they were fanatics. Or were suicidal. But because what they believed in, their principles, were so close to who they were, that to surrender them was little less than death anyway.

How many of us would be willing to die rather than give up something that we hold close? How many of us are so in tune with our core principals that we know what would be worth dying for?

I'm not talking about someone being brainwashed into fanaticism. There is plenty of that around these days. I'm talking about really being in touch with what matters in your life.

It's an interesting thought. If the Alamo were being fought today, who would show up to defend it? What is your Alamo? What would you die for rather than surrender it to a tyrant?

Hope you have a great week.

Hugh

Traveling Through a Twagedy

Dear Friend,

I apologize for missing a day or two of posts but I have been very busy.

My first reason for being so busy is that my family and I have been on the road looking for our new RV. We have now purchased one but we have been hanging out in hotel rooms waiting for the dealer to get it ready for the road.

While waiting, we cruised on down to San Antonio, Texas, in our rental minivan to check out a city that my wife and I last visited when we were dating, thirteen years ago. It is still beautiful. This time, we hit all of the spots that we had visited back then, but with our four kids in tow.

My second reason for missing some posts is a minor disaster that occurred with my Twitter account.

Twitter is an online social media Website that I use to network with people and to share ideas. I had over 20,000 people who followed my mini blog posts on Twitter before a few days ago when Twitters computer algorithms apparently decided that my long-standing account might actually have been spaming all of this time and froze my account! I had never even backed up my followers names! Four months of daily and nightly work potentially down the drain. I was devastated.

Since I am on the road with my family this couldn't have come at a worse time.

If you are a Twitter user, would you please consider sending an email to suspended@twitter.com and telling them that I am a "good guy" and not a spammer, and could they please reactivate my account? It would be huge for me if you did. And could you please drop me a note on Twitter letting me know that you did this? My temporarty Twitter account name is hugh_deburgh. Thank you!!!

My Internet has been spotty on the road, and days have been so busy that I am writing this in the middle of the night. Nevertheless, I'll keep you updated on our adventures. And I will continue to post on ways that you can take your first steps toward a life of creative adventure with your family.

Talk to you soon,

Hugh

Get a (Slow Poke) Life!

Dear Friend,

One of the biggest concerns that I hear from others about the idea of taking off with their families is a fear that they will kill each other in short order.

I think that every family faces this fear to some degree or another. When put in close quarters and forced to work closely together, people can get on each others nerves. Fast.

If you had some friction in your family when living a conventional lifestyle, you can expect, in the early stages of your transition, that this friction will be magnified twenty fold. You may now be traveling together or perhaps you are involved in some creative activity that requires your family to spend a lot of time together, working as a team? Either way, this is a real issue.

Is there a solution to this problem? Is living a creative lifestyle reserved solely to those families that are completely free of dysfunction and discord (in other words, fictional families)?

There are no easy answers. But if you want to break out of your dull life, and you are determined to take your family along with you, then this is a challenge that you must overcome.

I face the same issues as you. Perhaps the only difference between us is that I am on the road, living my dream, and facing these challenges head on, while you are sitting at home reading about it?

If you just can't stand spending a lot of "quality" time with your family, perhaps you should just admit this to yourself. The idea might frighten you. You may not like this fact about yourself. But it doesn't matter. If you've given it the old college try but you just know that being extra close to your family will do more damage than good to your relationships, then you need to face facts.

You are who you are. To be fully satisfied, you need to fully accept every aspect of you, including those aspects that you aren't proud of. Welcome to the real world. None of us can live up to the ideal image we have constructed for ourselves. And so what?

Happiness doesn't require utopia, just surrender. Surrender to who you really are. If that means accepting that you're just not that into your family, then that's what you have to do.

Perhaps this traipsing off to live a new life is your spouse's idea? Perhaps you are afraid to let them down. Or you are afraid that if you don't grin and bear it, you'll lose both your spouse and your family?

Like I said before, this is not an easy process. But understand this - the decision to live your life creatively did not create these conflicts within your relationships, it only shined a light on them. If you prefer to live in denial, then you can certainly do so. But will you live a happy life that way?

I think that it is also important to understand that your fears of a relationship apocalypse are probably unfounded. As I point out in one of my recent posts, the beginning of a new adventure can be quite stressful. If that experience was a good example of the way you might expect to feel all of the time, then only a sadist would pursue a creative family lifestyle.

That early experience is not indicative of that way you will be living every day. You will adjust to your new lifestyle.

For many people, their new creative family lifestyle requires a transition to a slower pace of life. If you have been living a go-go life for many years, even if you are quite tired of that life, you will find the transition a difficult one at first. You may discover yourself cursing others in your new environment whose emotional systems have already adjusted to a new, slower pace of life. They just putt along. They get in your way. Don't they know that you have a life? Places to go and people to see?

Adjustment can take years. But you just have to hang in there. You may not believe it now, but if this new creative family lifestyle that you have chosen is the right one for you, in a reasonably short time you will never again consider returning to your old life. That is how extreme the impact of making this kind of lifestyle change can have on you.

Your priorities will change. You may rekindle old interests that you had forgotten you had. Old talents may resurface. Or you may discover parts of you that you never knew existed - and that you like very much.

You may find that you actually like spending "quality" time with those closest to you. You had just never given your relationships a chance.

And one day, somebody with "a life," who is too busy to slow down, will be cursing you for being a slow poke, and getting in their way. At that moment, you will know that you have arrived.

Congratulations!

All the best,

Hugh

We Bought a New Motorhome!

Dear Friend,

My family bought an RV today!

That's right, one day after nausea city, we inked the deal on a new, "Super C" motorhome.

The kids are going bonkers. Right this moment, they are jumping on the waiting room furniture at the dealership. I guess the dealer staff are putting up with us since we just wrote them a big down payment check.

It'll probably be this Friday afternoon before the vehicle is ready. Until then, we'll camp out at the Hampton Inn that we stayed at last night.

The dealer that we purchased from is Fun Time RV in Cleburne, Texas. The staff were nice and professional. Bargaining was smooth. We'll see if the extras get installed and the details get taken care of by Friday.

In the mean time, the sales rep recommended that we take the kids to Hurricane Harbor Water Park, across the road from Six Flags near Fort Worth. Maybe we'll check that out. With the 95 degree weather, the water park sounds better than walking in the sun at Six Flags.

On the other hand, there may be a lot of other cool things that we can do around here while we wait.

My eldest, who was begging to go back home to see his friends, has announced that he wants to start a cross country trip right away. Quite a turn-around for him!

Anyway, my wife has gone off to the Borders bookstore to look for travel books on Texas. I just ordered a couple of delivery pizzas for the rest of us.

I'll post more as things develop.

All the best,

Hugh

Bobalina Spreads Nausea in Texas

Dear Friend,

I arrived in Dallas yesterday in a state of nausea. I guess that the 3 AM wake-up, herding the excited army onto planes in two cities (a layover in Atlanta), an accidental meeting and catching up with a friend, and then rushing in a strange city (Dallas) to find RV dealers buried in nooks and crannies, all to the tune of "Bobalina Says..." (don't ask), left my equilibrium a bit mixed up.

It was at this moment that my wife and I began to seriously question what in the he** possessed us to intentionally put ourselves through this nightmare. I'm sure that, if you are a parent, you know that feeling.

After a quick stop at some industrial park to settle my innards and return to a somewhat sane state of consciousness, we began to get our bearings in Dallas.

The next stress source that hit us was a quick search of the online inventory listings of the area dealers that we planned to visit. We had brought with us printouts of these inventories, but by now these were a month old.

As slow as the economy has been, we really didn't think that a few weeks would make a big difference in dealer inventories. We were in for a shock. The huge inventories of five weeks ago were now gone. GONE. One dealer said that they had never had lower inventories in their history.

The inventory reduction sales had done the trick. While we had been waiting for a more convenient time to get here, a time that better fit our family's schedule, the rest of the world had made their move. A small stampede of deal seekers had cleared out the lots before we got there.

I guess we failed to learn the old lesson that "the early bird gets the worm." So now what?

Today we find ourselves trying to find anything that might be available, anywhere. One possibility may be to open up our search area to include the San Antonio and Houston regions. If you look at a map, you'll see that Dallas/Ft Worth, Houston, and San Antonio make up a triangular megalopolis. Perhaps we will keep our rental minivan a bit longer and head to those cities?

The kids say that they have already found their choice. It's a class A gas toyhauler, with an upstairs area over the rear garage area that has a window and a TV. They fell in love with that space instantly. My younger son will not stop begging for that one. They are certain that it will sell before we get back to it. And maybe they are right? We'll see, I guess. But we have to look around.

Where do we go today? We'll just keep moving around the Dallas/Ft Worth "beltway," hitting every dealer we can, and see if we have any luck.

We have internet connectivity much of the way. I'll try to blog when I can.

Thanks for staying in touch. I'll let you know what we find out here.

All the best,

Hugh

Off to Dallas (Almost!)

Dear Friend,

Tonight I was supposed to be posting from 38,000 feet. My family and I were scheduled to be in the air, on our way to Dallas, Texas, home to the largest concentration of new and used RV inventories in the United States (at least I think it is).

However, flight schedules being the unpredictable things that they are, our flight was delayed, practically indefinitely, due to weather at it's original location.

Things actually worked out for the best. The small airport where we were departing from got us the information quickly, and were were able to reschedule an early morning flight, cancel our reservations at the Hyatt Regency DFW (after 6 PM with no questions asked!), and delay the time we are scheduled to pick up our rental car.

The bottom line is that we saved hundreds of dollars on a now unneeded hotel room, will arrive in Dallas at about the same time in the AM that we would have departed the hotel, and I get to sleep in my own (free) bed for one more night. Everything is packed and in the car so there is nothing more to do but relax, and write this post. Ahhhhh. ;-))

The kids are excited, of course. And so is my wife. She just printed out a sheet with a listing of hundreds of RV dealers in a triangular area between Dallas, Houston, and San Antonio. This could come in handy on the road as we visit these places looking for the perfect rolling home for our little army.

Weather reports for the Dallas area this week are for sunny skies, with temperatures a pleasant 100 degrees Fahrenheit. It will be interesting to see how well we hold up walking from hot RV to hot RV all day through open asphalt parking lots. One dealer advertises that they place bottles of cold water in every RV on their lot for their customers' benefit. I have a feeling that we will be partaking of their hospitality.

When you live a highly mobile lifestyle, the way in which you leverage technology can make a big difference in the quality of your life.

Lately I have favored small, "netbook" PC computers. Netbooks are rather tiny laptop computers that sell from about $250 to $400 each, and can handle just about all but heavy graphics applications such as 3D gaming. They are light, sleek, compact, and have all the power that I need without all of the bulk and heat given off by my old laptop PC.

The term "netbook" is not a brand, but is rather a description of the typically small size and configuration of these mini-laptops. The big players in the netbook marketplace include Acer, Asus, Dell, Hewlett Packard, and Samsung. The best selling model is the Acer Aspire One, which also happened to be my first netbook ever, purchased at Costco for $299. Other than a terrible touchpad that acted irratically, it was a great machine.

Unfortunately, my Acre Aspire One got damaged last week when I picked it up by the screen and cracked the interior of the LCD. The result was that there is now no discernible image on the computer screen. I have been using it with an external monitor, which works fine at home, but which is of course useless on the road.

Today, and just in time, my new replacement netbook arrived. It's an Asus Eee PC netbook, Model 1000HE. It's a bit bigger, with a ten inch screen, and it has a cool blue color. I bought this model because it received the top rating from CNet UK in a survey review of netbooks available today. The 1000HE's most impressive feature is supposed to be its battery life. My three month old Acer got a little over two hours of battery life before it needed a recharge. This new Asus is supposed to get eight to nine hours of battery life - almost unheard of performance. We'll see if it's true soon enough, as I am typing this post on it right now.

The new Asus set me back about $400 US with $4 overnight shipping from Amazon.com. The keyboard feels smooth, and is a bit bigger for my fat fingers to get around than was the Acer.

If you and your family intend to lead a more mobile life, the mobilitty of the technology that you use will be an important factor for you to consider. I just love these new netbooks. They are light and easy to handle. I have even played some networked games on the Acer with my kids, so the power of these new Intel Atom processors is quite impressive. Also, the Atom does not get so hot, meaning it's more comfortable on your lap over longer periods and it isn't waisting so much energy through heat loss.

If gaming or better graphics performance is important to you (you can't miss out on World of Warcraft!) then keep your eye out for new netbooks with the new Ion GPU (graphics processing unit, paired with the Atom CPU. Without getting all techy on you, the Ion should substantially increase performance while perhaps adding $100-$150 to the total price. Some industry insiders doubt that people will pay the extra bucks for this capability. However, if Call of Duty 4 keeps you sane at night, you might want to get one of these new little gems (yes, COD4 will run on a Atom/Ion netbook PC - amazing!).

I have also found that using a 3G wireless modem (in my case from Verizon Wireless), is the best option for staying connected while traveling. They work anywhere cell phones work, and the download speed isn't bad at all. My wife and I had a fancy cell phone with Internet capability, but we found that we kept hitting the wrong buttons and it was just too complex to do any one thing right. So we traded up for two basic flip phones that are great for phoning and snapping the odd photo, and a single USB stick modem that we share between us. The modem was about $50 I think and the service is $50 per month with 5 Gigabytes of data transfer allowed. We only use the service when needed, but we have never seriously approached the 5 Gig usage limit. An unlimited plan is available from Verizon for a pricey $100 per month. Also, on the 5 Gig plan, if you go over your limit for the month, you pay 5 cents a megabyte I believe for each megabyte of data transfer overage. This 5 cent price is down from 25 cents per minute for overages when we signed up for this plan just a few months ago. Our total cost per month for our current plan is about the same as we were paying for the old super phone and, when paired with new netbooks and simple phones, we are really as well equipped on the road as we are at home.

Tomorrow looks to be a very busy day. I have to catch some sleep now, so I hope to talk with you then.

All the best!

Hugh

Retweeting a Revolution

Dear Friend,

Tonight I did something that I have never done before. And I feel good about it.

On the other side of the world from me, a revolution is brewing. It's an internal political matter in a fairly large foreign country, but a country that has little or no direct impact on my family's life.

Like anyone else, sometimes I find myself drawn to these stories of drama and danger in a far away land. Intense news like this can be intoxicating for many.

So what did I do last night that was so special?

I "retweeted" (repeated to my approximately 20,000 followers on the Twitter social network) messages from several Iranian college students who were hunkered down in their Tehran dorms, receiving gunfire and numerous teargas canisters from Iranian state riot police.

I passed on messages about a seriously injured friend of some students who need medical care fast if he was to survive.

I repeated messages from a young man who cowered in his home with lights off, listening to police outside breaking windows at random, and announcing that anyone who came outside would be killed.

I passed on a home made video, taken on someone's cell phone, of a large group of riot police intercepting a kid on a bike, and apparently beating him to death with batons.

And I passed on photos of bloody student bodies after an apparent invasion of college dorms by a group of religious "militia."

These images were not photos on the news. They were not images from war correspondents seen on TV or in a magazine as transmitted from some unfortunate war some years back. I was watching these events happen live, right in front of my eyes.

I saw the images as they were uploaded. I read the posts of these young people, often in broken English, as they feared for their lives in a place that they should have felt absolutely safe (a college dorm). And I reported these events to anyone who wanted to hear about them. And apparently, many did want to know.

After hours online, I took a break (many of the students had fallen asleep) and checked out the coverage of this obviously historic event on the major news outlets.

There was no coverage. I mean, none worth mentioning. And what the attractive talking head behind the desk said did not fit with what I was hearing. Amazingly, their news outlets' most intense coverage was reserved for the Twitter network itself.

And in that coverage I believe they were correct.

Tonight, I saw the traditional news outlets, traditional sources of what needed to be known by any man or woman, be eclipsed, replaced, and made superficial, by a couple of folks on PCs and Blackberries, often who were typing while shopping for groceries.

The poor kids in Iran continue to experience a tragic situation. I knew that they needed me and all the rest to get their message out tr the world. And they deserved justice. I did my modest best to do what little I could for them.

But the real revolution that happened last night involved myself and all of the other folks who "reported" on this "news."

In some far corner of the world, every day, there are tragic stories unfolding of bravery, courage, despicable horror, and fascinating excitement. When these stories reach us, we folks far removed from the direct cause or significance of these matters, they are called "news."

The traditional news outlets simply cannot be everywhere all the time. CNN apparently didn't even have a reporter in Iran to bring back a story. At least I never saw one. And it didn't matter. Because we had those kids. And the person with the cell phone camera. And a secret proxy access to the net that they used, possibly via Uruguay, to get those messages and images out to the rest of the world. And we had lil ol' me and all of the rest of us who got the students' message of social revolution out to our Twitter followers around the globe.

Presumably, around the proverbial water cooler Monday morning, the recipients of this new kind of news will pass on their newly formed knowledge to their friends and peers. It's a viral system. And in about six moves, the information will pass on until practically everyone has heard one version or another of this story.

Who needs the media? Good analysis after the fact, and checking out of unsubstantiated facts, will still be needed. But once the news reaches this stage, it's not really "news" anymore. It's just history. Its impact on our fast paced world will be negligible, and it precision an academic matter.

Perhaps, the mainstream media will also soon be history as well? Who knows.

I guess we will all witness the development of these matters together. As for me, I found it much more exhilarating, enlightening, and satisfying to participate in the news rather than to simply absorb it passively as it is doled out by traditional media. And perhaps I made an impact for justice as well.

Talk to you soon,

Hugh

When Your Happiness "Hurts" Others

Dear Friend,

You have heard many times, from me and from others, that happiness is a choice. And it is. You can be happy as soon as you choose to be.

But is that all there is to it? Sometimes it is. But most of the time the choice that you are making is to take action and change the direction of your life. So choosing is often just the first step in the process of achieving the life that you deserve.

When most folks talk about the process of choosing to pursue happiness in their life, it sounds fairly easy. I mean, once you overcome your resistance to making this choice, your life will be well on it's way to the kind of life that you really want. You will be in charge of your life, your destiny, right?

Well, yes. But this is where the process can get dicey. Challenges that involve some task that you must solve or something that you need to achieve to get where you really want to be in life (such as the need to graduate from college, for example) can be tough, but such challenges are also pretty straight forward. It's really you against you. Can you accomplish this thing or not?

However, things can get dicey when the challenge that seems to stand between you and your true life's path is another person.

It's hard to imagine that anyone but a sadist would intentionally try to keep anyone else from being happy. And I think that few people do this intentionally. However, making a change in your life often means changing the nature of your relationship with the people around you. It can mean pushing some people away from you who you know are holding you back. These may be people who rely on you, reasonably or not.

I am thinking of people that I have known through the years who stayed in bad marriages rather than leave and pursue their dreams. Some of them would drown their sorrows in drink, and ultimately ruin their lives. I never understood why they were so afraid to just stand up for themselves and make decisions that they knew they had to make in order to be happy.

It seems that there are many people in this world who grow up with the idea that they have less of a right to personal happiness than others do. That they must sacrifice their happiness for the sake of others.

Now I'm not saying that life cannot reasonably require sacrifice. And giving of yourself to others freely can be the greatest route to happiness that there is. What I am saying, however, is that no one who truly loves or respects you would ever ask you or expect you to sacrifice your life's happiness on their behalf. To expect such a thing from another is the height of selfishness.

And, generally speaking, nobody does ask for this. It just sort of happens. A relationship forms, and somewhere along the way, expectations develop. Eventually, you find yourself in a relationship that takes more than it gives. Or that simply does not fit into the lifestyle that you truly want to live.

Codependent relationships are a classic example of this. There is the parasitic or needy partner and there is the caregiver. The caregiver feels compelled by a misplaced sense of duty to enable the needy partner's behavior - to give them what they want. The caregiver feels that to put their own desires ahead of those of the needy friend would be selfish. They feel guilt. Yet as I have already pointed out, it is the needy partner who is the selfish one.

Giving is not really giving unless it is done voluntarily. Without coercion. And without guilt. Giving that is motivated by guilt is not an act of love, but is instead an attempt by the giver to satisfy the obligations that the giver imagines she has.

I have talked on this subject before and I return to it now because I want you to understand that it is quite possible that you will have to commit some of the most selfish acts of your life once you decide to follow your own path to happiness. And you need to steel yourself for this challenge.

You will disappoint some. You will anger others. And you may even abandon a few. You may find that your new life choice has alienated you from people whose affections have surrounded you your whole life.

This fact can come as a shock to someone who is flush with feelings of excitement after finally deciding to take charge of their life. They feel good, and full of love for everyone at such a moment. The idea of going from that emotional state to taking actions that seem to hurt others so close to them seems incongruous. It doesn't feel right. It sounds screwy.

But it is right. Follow your heart. Remember, you have a right to be happy. And nobody's happiness is more important than yours.

Even if others in your life believe that they have had a more difficult life than you have had up until now, you do not owe them your life, my friend. You owe them honest friendship. And that is all that they can reasonably expect from anyone.

If others feel hurt as a result of your decisions, their hurt comes from within. Not from your actions. If they had expectations of you that turned out to be unreasonable because they interfere with your ability to pursue happiness, then they will have to adjust those expectations, whether they want to or not.

It is important to me that people who are beginning their journey onto their life's true and natural path not be blindsided by obsticles, especially early in the process. I do not want you to lose confidence so early in your efforts.

I cannot make this process easier for you. And I cannot predict how much, if any, of this kind of trouble you may face on your road to a creative family lifestyle. However, I do want you to be looking out for it, and be ready if it comes.

I wish you blessings and all of the love that you deserve in this world. You deserve happiness. I, for one, am rooting for you!

All the best,

Hugh

Approaching Life "Bass Ackwards"

Dear Friend,

"The secret to success? Love what you do. The secret to happiness? Do what you love. See the pattern?" ~~ Hugh DeBurgh

Happiness is the direct result of a choice. An agreement, between you and you. If you aren't happy now, it's because you have not made this choice, this agreement with yourself.

The question is, "Why not?"

Many people simply do not understand this basic rule of life. Apparently, nobody told them about it. Their parents didn't know it. Chances are, their parents weren't so happy themselves. And maybe those parents didn't see themselves as success stories either? Friends were probably clueless too.

People have the power to make this choice any time they want. The choice, the agreement with themselves, is to follow a happy lifestyle.

Because people do not make this choice, a choice that they don't know exists, they live a misdirected life. And they never really achieve the success and happiness that they always thought they were pursuing.

I look at all of the people online right now, frantically selling one get-rich-quick idea after another. Now, don't get me wrong. I suspect that many of these approaches can work. But most do not. At least not with most people. Why?

I think that people approach life bass ackwards. They think that if they can only be a "success," they will be happy.

Imagine the following scenario. Perhaps it sounds familiar?

Your friend buys a really cool, and logical-sounding, Internet work-at-home program. His goal? To get rich so that he can retire and live like Hugh DeBurgh. ;-) So he buys this thing. And he works at it, often quite hard, for a little while. This is impressive, as most people just put such programs in a corner at home and forget about them. For them it was an impulse buy. But not your friend.

He keeps at this. For a few weeks, perhaps. Then his initial burst of energy and enthusiasm runs out, and it's replaced by a feeling of emptyness. Since he started this program to riches, fifteen more, perhaps cooler, programs have been released by competing Internet "gurus." He already feels like a dinosaur. And look, he's not rich yet. Not even close. Maybe he should jump ship and try a better program, or maybe even the better version of the program that he already bought (it's new and improved!).

Maybe you have a friend like this? Maybe that friend is you? Whatever.

I'm not criticizing honest effort and initiative. Just choosing to get started proved that this guy's a go-getter. And I'm obviously not passing judgment on the quality of whatever new business opportunity that he pursued. There are a million ways to critique how to best approach these things.

What my goal is today is to point out a more fundamental problem with this approach to life. And I consider myself an expert at this question because this is how I screwed up the first half of my own life.

If you want to be a financial success, you first have to be happy. And the best way to make your fortune is to choose a career that keeps that happiness going. Choose to do something that you love. And don't concern yourself too much at first with how that choice will make you money. That part will make itself apparent to you later.

I spent the first half of my life in pursuit of money. And I did things that I did not enjoy. Things that did not come naturally to me. And that I did not believe added much value to the world.

Luckily, I never engaged in what I considered immoral behavior. I always treated others fairly. And I always tried to deliver more value that people expected. As a result, I did make money. And I valued that money dearly.

Everytime I looked at my bank balance, I thought of the suffering that I went through every day in pursuit of it. And that led me to a tight-wad mentality. When I would lose some money in the stock market, or wherever, it would actually hurt. I felt pain. And I did not love money. On a certain level, I hated money. I hated the power I thought it had over me. The power to keep me from my goal of true success and happiness. It toyed with me. I'd get close to a "magic number." Then things would go South. I came to resent money. Clearly, this was a disfunctional relationship. One that I lived every day.

Now, my work wasn't that hard. At least physically, that is. In fact, I find that simple hard work can be a relief. You know that it is not a career. That it is temporary. You work a bit and you get your money. It is a very short term effort that leads to a very short term reward.

But my work was very stressful for me. Not because I had an inherently stressful career, but because I worked at something that just didn't fit who I was, and so I really had to force myself to work all of the time. I never really looked forward to anything. I just kept reminding myself that someday I would be glad that I was the proverbial hard working "ant," squirreling away my savings, and was not like the carefree "grasshoppers" that I saw all around me, who would starve come "wintertime."

What hurt me so much is that I felt "stuck" in my career. It was a well-paying career, but a career that brought me little or no personal fulfillment. I think that the same feeling exists out there everywhere. In millions of hard-working people. Perhaps you feel this way right now?

You know how valuable money can be in eventually freeing you to live the life of your dreams. And you have already paid your dues. All you have to do is keep going. You aren't going to throw all of that seniority away. All of that expensive education. But you measure the value of that seniority and education by the memory of the pain and sacrifice that you suffered in acquiring it.

This is the life model that our ancestors followed for millenia. It is a survival life model. And it got us to where we are as a civilization. But it did not bring anyone happiness.

Today we are all blessed with an opportunity that in times passed only presented itself to the most elite in human society. We have the opportunity to live a truly fulfilled life. We have the opportunity to shed our survival instincts and begin to focus on living. And loving. On dreaming. And believing. And on doing what we were always meant to do.

And with a world population in excess of six billion people (and growing exponentially), combined with a world communications network that will very soon make it possible to reach the vast majority of those people instantaneously, you now have the opportunity to sell whatever skills or abilities that you have to people out there who really need them. And some of these people can and will pay you well for your skills.

No matter how quirky or valuless you may think that your skills are, someone out there in this very crowded and quirky world of ours will pay you well for them. In fact, the more odd or rare your skill is, the more valuable it likely is to those few real people who need it. And who need you.

It is the existence of this worldwide network that no longer requires you to specialize in skills that appeal best to those closest to you. Those within your local community. Instead, you can specialize in those skills that you love. That come most naturally to you. Today, the entire world is close to you.

You no longer have to do what you must. To be happy, you must do what you love. And this fact makes possible your discovery of true happiness in this life.

Interestingly, it just so happens that to discover what you love to do, you must first be you. In the fullest sense of the world. To discover what you love, you must first discover you.

So the first step you must take to achieving wealth and success in life is also the first step you must take to be truly happy. You must discover and accept you for who you truly are. You must start out your life doing those things that you truly love, and not those things that you think might make you a lot of money.

Most people fail when they attempt to get rich because they do not get this process right. They approach life bass ackwards. Now you know the right way to do it. So get going! I wish you the best of luck!

Talk to you soon!

Hugh

Intentional Lifestyle Design

Dear Friend,

The biggest challenge to getting your lifestyle lined up with your dreams is knowing where to start.

The process of getting from where you are to where you want to be can at times seem so overwhelming that most people just don't attempt to start.

Let's face it. You know where you are. Sort of. Or maybe you don't? Either way, you can't get this process started until you do know where your family's lifestyle stands right now. So let's lay it all out in front of you.

Maybe you have a job. Or your spouse does. Or you both work. Perhaps your work takes both of you away from home every weekday.

Let's say that your kids go to a local school. Or maybe to several different schools. They have friends in the neighborhood. And they are involved in tons of activities that have turned you and or your partner into a minivan taxi driver.

You have friends in the community. You have put some time and effort into the kid's school PTA, or you are coaching their soccer team. You've made an investment into the institutions of your community.

You also may have relatives nearby. Perhaps an elderly parent or two who need (or at least want) you to stop by and visit with them from time to time. And you feel an obligation to do this.

This all may sound like your current lifestyle. Or perhaps your lifestyle is quite different from this description. No matter. The point is, you now have a superficial idea of what your overall day-to-day lifestyle looks like from an independent perspective.

Your next step is to draw an outline of what your family's lifestyle will look like when you are living the lifestyle that you know you were meant to live - one built around your true life's purpose.

This new lifestyle may vary little from that which you have just set down. However it is equally possible that your desired lifestyle varies so significantly from that which you now live that getting from where you are to where you want to be seems a practical impossibility.

For example, perhaps you want to travel extensively. Or you want to work from home so that you can be with your children as they mature to adulthood. If your current career does not allow for this you have two choices. You can attempt to adjust the way you work your career today in order to live the way you want to live, or you can abandon your current career and search for a new method of supporting your family that allows the kind of flexibility that you need. Making either change is no small matter.

Perhaps your desired lifestyle requires that your family leave your current neighborhood behind. That means abandoning schools, friends, family, and projects that may have value to you. Of course, people do this sort of thing everyday, but imagine that you will now replace all of this, not with another, very similar community with all the attendant activities you had before, but with a completely different group of peers, with different values and lifestyles than your family has accepted up until now as "normal." These new peers and their values may suit you better. They may be more in keeping with the real you and with your true values. But the change can still come as a shock to you and your family. Your children, especially teens, may think that you have lost your mind and just want to go back to their friends and to hanging out at the mall.

You may be transitioning from public school to homeschooling. With the former, many families rely almost exclusively on the schools to "educate" their children. Suddenly you are taking on the role of educator of your children. You are also spending a heck of a lot more time with your family. This new closeness may be one of your goals. But it can also lead to new and surprising tensions as you all actually start to get to know each other well, perhaps for the first time.

Extended family, particularly if they are of a traditional bent, may disagree, perhaps quite vocally, with the new direction that you are taking your family. In-laws may accuse you of child abuse simply because you choose to raise your children in an environment different than they raised their kids. There is a lot of ignorance out there, and there is a good chance that you will run into some of it during this process.

I am sure that you can see immediately that changing the direction and lifestyle of your family in mid-stride is a daunting task. It is this sense of being overwhelmed and of not knowing where to start, or even if what you are doing is the right thing to do, that prevents most folks from even starting the process. It is the self doubt and fear that creep into your consciousness, encouraged no doubt by a nagging in-law or two, that are most likely to stop you from ever beginning your journey.

It is at this moment that you must decide. Do you want to be happy, or not? Do you want to be an exceptional parent, or just a mediocre one? Do you want to live out your life's purpose, or just the life that fate has randomly handed to you? And finally, do you want to live your life now, or do you want to take a chance and wait until your kids are grown, independent and off on their own, so that you can begin your carefree life in retirement?

As for this last option, which is the option that I believe most people follow by default, consider your older friends and relatives who have taken this course before you. How many of them successfully stayed married while waiting for this moment to arrive, living a less than satisfying life and unconsciously blaming their spouse for their emptiness and exhaustion? How many of them had their health when they finally retired? How many of them have hangers-on adult kids, and help support a grandchild or two with the money they had been saving for their dream life? And how many simply died before they ever even got a start on their dreams?

It's up to you whether you take on the challenge that is living your life. But I will tell you this. If you think that you can put off living your true life's purpose forever, you are wrong. Old age comes at you fast. Don't believe me? Just ask an old person. They'll tell ya.

If you are ready to get started living the life that you were truly meant to live, then prepare yourself. You are about to begin the process of "Intentional Lifestyle Design" that has just been outlined for you. And you are, probably for the first time in your collective lives, going to be the architect of your own family's lifestyle masterpiece.

We'll talk more on this subject later. Until then...

All the best,

Hugh

Time to Make a Move?

Dear Friend,

Today was the last full day of school for my children. Tomorrow there will be a simple graduation ceremony and then summer vacation begins. As you can imagine, they are quite excited.

Today, at the end of the school day, their school had its annual picnic. The picnic is an opportunity for parents to meet, or to reconnect, and for school staff and families to mingle.

This year, there was also an informal school meeting for the election of a slate of new board members (our school is an independent, non-profit, run by a board that is elected by the current parents).

At the meeting, I was reminded of all that this school could have been, and all that it has not become. I have written on this subject in the past and I will not belabor the matter.

Yet something about this meeting struck me in such a way that I felt I had to take action for my family. I was angry at what had become of the organization, at the incompetence of its leadership, and worst of all, at the passive apathy of the parents.

When your goal as a parent is to live a life of creative discovery with your kids, one of the key elements to your success in achieving that lifestyle is coming up with an educational arrangement for those kids that meets your unique needs.

A small private school can often be significantly influenced by a small group of dedicated parents. It can be made to serve those parent's unique interests, if those interests are also shared by (or at least are not inconsistent with) the interests of the majority of the other families.

Generally speaking, large educational institutions, whether public or private, cannot be flexible enough to react to your family's unique needs. However, small, community-run private schools may just fit your bill. The key is to find one with a leadership in place that is visionary enough to take you on. And this can be a difficult task, especially in rural areas or in areas that otherwise have few alternative educational choices.

As I sat in that depressing meeting I was reminded of an aggressive group of parents from a nearby community that had split off of our school and started a new school a few miles away. At that time their efforts were tiny.

When we returned home tonight we decided to check out their progress on the Internet. What we saw astonished us. Their growth had exploded. And this had occurred in a bad economic market when the "experts" at our school advised that such success simply wasn't possible.

Maybe it is time to make a move?

The bottom line is, our current school lacks leadership, at any level of the organization. And I do not want to personally fill that role. I have other plans for myself and my family. As a parent, living a creative family lifestyle, I need a school that can meet our unique needs.

The families that created and now lead the new, start-up school have proven that when forward thinking people work together to meet the needs of the families involved, a successful educational program can be developed in a very short time. And when kids are involved, time is everything. A five or ten year school development plan simply leaves out anyone who is currently enrolled.

The lesson of all of this? When you are school shopping for your kids, ask questions. Expect to hear the school administrators tell you exactly how they will cater their school program to meet your family's unique needs. If they tell you that they cannot do what you need, then move on. It can be done. They simply cannot, or will not, do it for you.

Remember. Your family's lifestyle goals are far too important to sacrifice to the whims of a lazy bureaucrat. Homeschool for a while if you must. But do not compromise your dreams. A unique educational solution for your family is out there. Just keep looking.

Best of luck!

Hugh

Celebrate Today's Success

Dear Friend,

For years I have felt driven to pursue knowledge. This is one of my passions. I love to learn.

And in all of those years, the experience has always been the same. I will learn some facts, that then lead me to want to understand something even more. I will then gather more information, and tie that into all else that I understand to be true.

Eventually, a basic understanding of some significant question will seem to be on the immediate horizon. After a few dead ends, and some persistence, the answer to the question will be obvious.

Yet, despite this success, the solution of this one problem will invariably lead to the rise of several other, equally significant problems. The big answer that I was pursuing now seems farther away than ever. Sometimes I feel like the mouse whose cheese keeps being moved further and further away each time he pursues it.

The only rational conclusion that I can derive from this experience is that, the more one learns, the more one realizes how little he really knows about anything. There may have been a day when I might have felt puffed up with certainty about my understanding of how the world works. But that day is long gone. The universe is simply too complex a thing to be comprehended by minor creatures such as ourselves.

So, if what I say is true, how should any of us respond to this reality of ours? Is the pursuit of knowledge mere folly? Certainly not, I would say. The quality of our lives has been improved significantly as a direct result of the pursuit of knowledge. Is the effort to understand our own reality a kind of Chinese finger puzzle, that only gets progressively harder the more we try to solve it? Perhaps.

I like to think that we benefit by pursuing a better understanding of the reality that we exist within. Yet, we should not be waiting until some magical "theory of everything" answers all of our questions before we celebrate our victories. It is the process of learning itself, and those small victories that we do achieve, that are our true success. Celebrate now, what you achieve today. There is no destination to life, or to the pursuit of knowledge. There is only the pursuit itself.

All the best,

Hugh

Adventure

Dear Friend,

What does the word adventure mean to you? The popular media have created an image of adventure as adrenalin-soaked thrill-seeking behavior in an outdoorsy environment. And for some folks, that image fits perfectly.

But what if that kind of life just isn't you? Are you cursed to live out a life of static boredom because your interests are considered boring by others? Is there such a thing as adventure that isn't somehow life-or-limb-threatening?

People who live for a life that fits the traditional description of adventure don't need me. They just need to live their dream. I am reaching out to the rest of us - people who long for the joy of a creative, adventurous life, but who imagine that if we follow our spirit, we just wouldn't be as cool as those other guys.

Some folks are simply a bit ashamed of their passions. Especially guys. As a guy, do you think that the hot babe you just met would be more excited about spending time with you if you told her that your passion was bungee-jumping, or if your passion was butterfly collecting?

Of course, the ladies might say that it depends on the woman, but I think that most butterfly-collecting guys fear otherwise.

I'm not judging here. The opposite is true.

Dictionary.com defines adventure as follows:

ad⋅ven⋅ture – noun

1. An exciting or very unusual experience.

2. Participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises: the spirit of adventure.

3. A bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.

Clearly, the popular concept of adventure fits number three well. However, the truth is that any action that you take that fits either definition number one or two is a true adventure for you.

The first two definitions include the concept of excitement, while the third only mentions risk, hazards, and uncertainty. Number three implies excitement. However, if you don't find risky behavior to be fun, then I would not label it adventurous either. At least, not for you.

The moral of this story is, to be adventurous, you must do what you find exciting, and not what your peers or the general culture considers exciting. Follow your passion. And forget about what everybody else seems to think.

Truth be told, many of your peers probably weren't having much fun either, but were afraid to say so, until a brave soul like you came along and dared to break with the crowd and really follow your heart.

So, be adventurous. Do what you find exciting!

Have a great day!

Hugh

Foalin' Around

Dear Friend,

Today was a journeying day for me and my family. We spent most of the day on the road, joined by my kid's teacher from school. We were headed off toward that dreaded swamp that I wrote about yesterday.

It seems that I overreacted. We arrived around noon at Assateague Island National Seashore in Maryland. We are actually tent camping on the dunes behind the beach on the Atlantic shore.

What can I say? The scene is beautiful. The sand is white, with dunes piled high, tufts of sea grasses dotting their surface. "Wild" horses, called "ponies" here, walk around, unfenced and unmolested. I put wild in quotations because these ponies are actually quite tame.

On arrival, we opened the back of our van and began to unload our stuff. A pickup next to us did the same. At that moment, a pony walked right up, stuck his nose into the pickup bed, ripped open a plastic bag, removed a large ripe cantaloupe, and began a peaceful feast. Next, this pony begins to probe her nose into our van. She took a bite of a can of Sam's Cola that we bought from Wal-Mart, but didn't approve. Of course the can proceeded to squirt sticky drink everywhere.

While this action was taking place, other ponies had their way as well. One "grabbed" a watermelon from another pickup, and began his private munch fest. All of this within the first fifteen minutes of arrival.

My reaction to all of this? Well, yes, the horses made a pest of themselves, but it was a priceless experience. I don't think that there are many places left in the world where you can experience "horse thievery" in such a unique way.

And my kids were here to see it all. Their reaction? My youngest son was a bit disconcerted by the size and boldness of the horses, though he has seen horses many times. My daughter seemed somewhat interested. I have no idea where my oldest son was. At his age, he just runs off with his pals. But it's a safe place for that kind of thing, so we let him.

Despite all of this, the heat here is intense, and there is no shade. Our tent is a small oven. As we speak I am quietly hiding in our van, AC on, hoping no one will notice. ;-)

But really, the thermometer on my rear view mirror says 116 degrees F in the direct sun. That's too hot, and I need to get the gang under cover. We brought plenty of water and food. The kids ran in three different directions, and my wife, a responsible and sacrifice-oriented parent, feels that it is her duty to follow them all. I'm not sure how she will do that.

It seems to me that trying to shadow your kids puts the kids in charge and has the parent reacting, and exhausted. Then again, other parents are not responsible for watching my kids either. We put reasonable restrictions on their behavior and actions, and expect them to follow these. Do they always obey? Duh. But we also let them know of our disappointment when they act disrespectfully, and make sure that there is a consequence.

At some age, as a parent, I think that you just gotta let your kids go. Always in the safest environment possible, of course. But it's not a rubber room. There are dangers. That's the price we pay for letting them grow up. The alternative is to selfishly try to keep them as babies. I believe that far too many over-active parents do just that, and end up raising 40 year old teenagers in their basement. At least, that's my opinion.

We are scheduled to be here today, tonight, tomorrow, and finally depart on Friday. Unfortunately, this heat is scheduled to leave us tonight, being exchanged with severe thunderstorms, and then heavy rain and much cooler temperatures through Friday. It is supposed to feel like the low 50's F at night. If it was a clear night, that might be pleasant. However, one and a half inches of steady rain is forecast, which will certainly turn all of this nice dry white sand into a mucky mess.

I have repeated this forecast to my wife so often that she is quite sick of my voice. In truth, I want to bail out once the weather goes bad. There is nothing fun about living in a Wal-Mart tent in the middle of sand dunes soaking in 1.5 inches of cold rain, 20 mph winds whipping things up nicely.

Yeah, I know. Sir Edmund Hillary I'm not. I respect the h**l out of guys like that. And I think if climbing Mt. Everest was my passion, as it was his, you wouldn't be listening to whining now. I'd be crowing. But that's not my bag.

Right now I'm itching to get to Texas and pick out that motorhome. I just keep imagining how cool it would be to have it here right now. Sitting in the A/C. Drinking a cool drink. Taking a shower between dips in the ocean. And wouldn't you know it, one of the other parents brought his big class c motorhome and parked it across from me. Now that's the way to travel! :-))

Oh well, I'll try to keep in touch as things progress. It really is beautiful here. And contrary to my earlier concerns, the breezy conditions have ensured that no mosquitos have been spotted. ;-)

All the best,

Hugh

The Revenge of the Swamp Thing

Dear Friend,

I'll be honest with you. I'm kind of dreading the next couple of days.

You see, my three oldest kids' school has an annual camping trip. And this year we'll be spending three days and two nights in a hot, tropical swamp. My wife, me, and dozens of screaming kiddos. With bugs. Skeeters as big as eagles. And no-see-ums that fly up your nose all night (the tent screens won't keep 'um out). So we'll be covered in bug spray. There are chemical toilets of course. And somebody thinks that there might be a cold water shower available. Maybe. Somewhere. If it's working.

Now, don't get me wrong. I know that this place is beautiful. I've been there a few times before. And it's next to a national seashore that has a fantastic beach. But the water is too cold for me this time of year, and just behind the beach dunes is one whopper of a marsh swamp. That's where we'll be.

Of course, my kid's teacher, a biologist at heart, can't wait to scour the mud for interesting creatures to study. My kids can't wait for the trip either. Their friends will be there. They get off of school. It's an interesting environment. And they probably eat bugs when I'm not looking (who knows what they do sometimes?).

Ok. I admit it. The Passionate Warrior, king of "creative family living," is a wuss. I love the outdoors. But I really love hot showers, too. And a cozy bed at night. I love the smell of nature. But not the essense of Deet (bug spray). After three days of this I expect to feel like I just moved to the Meadowlands in New Jersey - covered in mud and smelling like a chemical plant.

In year's past our class has visited the mountains. Now that was nice. The weather was cooler. Bugs were moderate. Healthy hikes. But this time, I just don't know. I really don't think that this teacher knows what she's getting us into.

I'll survive, of course. What did I quote in one of my earlier posts? "The difference between ordeal and adventure is attitude." - Bob Bitchin. Or maybe that was on Twitter I said that. Anyway, it looks like I need an attitude adjustment.

And I don't care what they say, I'm takin' my 'puter!

Talk to you soon,

Hugh

Couch Surfing? Dude!

Dear Friend,

Want to travel, but can't stand the touristy feel of most places you go? Want to get the real scoop on your destination? You know, travel like a local? Wanna save a lot of money? Maybe you should try couch surfing.

What is it? Couch surfing is a worldwide non-profit movement of volunteers who will take travelers and their families into their homes for a day or a week or whatever, for FREE, with the goal of "internationally networking people and places, creat[ing] educational exchanges, rais[ing] collective consciousness, spread[ing] tolerance, and facilitat[ing] cultural awareness." See http://www.couchsurfing.org/.

The idea of couch surfing is to connect you with locals on a personal level. You stay with them in their homes. You help with the dishes or whatever. Maybe you bring a gift, but nothing is expected or required. They may take you around town, introduce you to friends, and often end up as permanent members of your extended friend network. It kind of like B&Bs, but for free.

Couch surfing is really a very old idea come back to life. For example, in Colonial America, folks with homes would regularly open up to travelers, feeding them, doing laundry, etc. It was considered the right thing to do, and there just weren't any Holiday Inns around in those days.

George Washington is said to have thought of Mount Vernon as more of a hotel than a private home, considering the incredible volume of travelers of many social classes who stayed with him and Martha through the years. When George Washington traveled, he did the same. That's why there are so many homes on the East Coast of the U.S. that can make the claim, "George Washington Slept Here."

Of course, things have changed since Washington's day. Most people's first reaction when they hear about couch surfing is, "Is it safe?" It's a fair question. Couch Surfing International, Inc., who claim to be the modern originator of the idea, state on their website that their reputation-based network of users, with "friend-link strength indicators and testimonials," and "including some technologies invented by the organization," help to insure that you aren't inviting Hannibal Lector home for dinner. So far, the system seems to be working.

Since its founding in 2004, Coach Surfing International, Inc. has accumulated 1,154,391 members (and counting), from 230 countries, plus Antarctica. It looks like these guys are onto something new (or old).

If this sounds like an option for you, then pop over to couchsurfing.org and sign up!

Whether couch surfing is for you or not, it serves as one more example of how creative ideas can allow for creative lifestyles, regardless of your financial condition. Way to go CSI!

All the best,

Hugh