Dear Friend,
"There is only one success, to be able to spend your life in your own way." ~Christopher Morley
That quote struck me as the essence of the message that I feel driven to communicate to anyone I meet whose face or attitude tell me they need to hear it.
You really can look into people's eyes and know the state of their spirit. And in too many people's eyes you will see an almost lost look of amorphous pain. It's the look of a "life of quiet desperation" that is oft spoken of. You can also observe people's expressed thought patterns, attitudes, and general life approach and get strong hints of the same thing, but I prefer the eyes, as what they say is very hard to disguise.
Satisfied people radiate energy. They may be CEOs or garbage men, it matters not. That look is always the same. Yet, when I the look around me on any common day the look I see most is a look of pain. I know that look because I have seen it in the mirror for so many of the years of my life and I have despised it. Lost years when I walked with the un-living, for I was one of them.
What is missing in people's lives is a real sense of who they are, and of a life of purpose in sync with their true being. A self-designed, self-directed life of joy and true fulfillment.
I have come to believe that, once we exit our childhood, we often enter a life spent spiritually and emotionally asleep. I like to say that one must be born twice - once of the body and once more of the spirit. Perhaps it is my religious upbringing that paints the picture in this manner. Nevertheless, the analogy seems to fit. Only when the spirit is finally born is someone truly alive.
Most people exist between these two awakenings. It's a purgatory kind of world. And unfortunately, it seems that most are never reborn of the spirit. Most, in other words, never wake up.
Only when someone wakes up can they become aware of their true self. Without such self knowledge, happiness is almost impossible to experience, and then only in fleeting moments.
The quiet of an unborn spirit often seems to leave the emotions somewhat numb. Many become bored with this "in-between" existence, and seek artificial stimulation to entertain themselves. Some use drugs or pursue thrilling experiences. These only mask the pain, as this is what drugs are good for, and such experiences are quite temporary and often injurious to the body as well.
The sense that something is missing from our lives pervades life, and grows with age. Some give up on happiness and become bitter. Some look to others to bring them happiness, which never succeeds and often puts serious stress on relationships.
How does one "wake up?" Well, consider this. How does your body wake up? Is it something that you will it to do? People often will their bodies to stay awake, but waking up - becoming physically conscious, is something that happens all on its own.
That is the lesson you need remember. To prepare yourself for your own awakening, you must learn to stop trying so hard. You must stop driving yourself. Your spirit is meant to be awake - to emerge like a butterfly from its cocoon. You are meant to be happy and fully alive. You must simply shut up your mind and let yourself be born.
Resistance to this process takes the form of any effort on your part - either intended to help the process along or not. So don't try. This is a very basic, natural, and really primitive process. The brain is not needed. So turn it off - or I should say, distract it like you might a precocious child.
That is your task if you think you are not fully awake. And spreading this message of hope is mine. Here's to our mutual success.
All the best,
Hugh
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Rain
Dear Friend,
I had the most interesting conversation with a friend over the last few days via the Twitter social network. It was about the sound of things hitting the window.
Not rocks, of course. But bugs! And later the talk turned to the sound of raindrops on a window.
We had a lot of fun joking about the bugs, which seem to have recently hatched all at once outside of my home. In the evenings they try to commit suicide by colliding with my windows in an attempt to reach the Valhalla of lights that illuminate my ceiling. All of this occurs, of course, in those moments just before I retire for the evening.
For all of the fun we had talking about this, however, I think that I was most touched by our discussion of rain.
Rain can be depressing to me. Especially when it is accompanied by gray skies and cold winds. But a warm, steady rain can be a cleanser of my soul.
I recounted to my friend an experience that I had during a visit to the rain forests of eastern Costa Rica.
I was there with others, ostensibly to go fishing. But when our trip was called off one day due to a torrential downpour, I was secretly pleased.
Not being from the area, I had never quite experienced a rain like they had that day, or at least I had never seen a rain that strong that sustained itself for so long. Imagine a thunderstorm downpour, but without the thunder, the winds, or the sudden excitement of approaching danger. Instead, imagine a solid downpour, vertical, steady, warm and completely peaceful.
Anywhere else, the immense quantities of water that fell from the sky would have quickly pooled and then run in torrents across the ground, causing flood damage, and eventually, pain and sorrow for someone. In this place, however, the rain just seemed to disappear into the ground. There were a few puddles, of course, but mostly, the apparently spongy ground just swallowed it up.
I just stood there and watched it fall. Even more, I smelled and felt this rain, or at least the mist that filled the air of the porch where I was as I stood and experienced this moment. The air was warm, but not hot, somewhat like in your shower at home. The air was humid, but not uncomfortably so. In fact, everything about this moment and this place was completely refreshing.
The image of me standing there that day has stayed with me for years. I have been to Costa Rica on four other occasions, and have visited many of that country's impressive sites. I have also traveled to many other exciting and impressive locales. Yet never before or since has a simple rain shower so stirred my soul, or pleased me so, as it did that rainy day in the jungle.
I wish you all only pleasant rains and warm, blue sky days from this day onwards.
All the best,
Hugh
I had the most interesting conversation with a friend over the last few days via the Twitter social network. It was about the sound of things hitting the window.
Not rocks, of course. But bugs! And later the talk turned to the sound of raindrops on a window.
We had a lot of fun joking about the bugs, which seem to have recently hatched all at once outside of my home. In the evenings they try to commit suicide by colliding with my windows in an attempt to reach the Valhalla of lights that illuminate my ceiling. All of this occurs, of course, in those moments just before I retire for the evening.
For all of the fun we had talking about this, however, I think that I was most touched by our discussion of rain.
Rain can be depressing to me. Especially when it is accompanied by gray skies and cold winds. But a warm, steady rain can be a cleanser of my soul.
I recounted to my friend an experience that I had during a visit to the rain forests of eastern Costa Rica.
I was there with others, ostensibly to go fishing. But when our trip was called off one day due to a torrential downpour, I was secretly pleased.
Not being from the area, I had never quite experienced a rain like they had that day, or at least I had never seen a rain that strong that sustained itself for so long. Imagine a thunderstorm downpour, but without the thunder, the winds, or the sudden excitement of approaching danger. Instead, imagine a solid downpour, vertical, steady, warm and completely peaceful.
Anywhere else, the immense quantities of water that fell from the sky would have quickly pooled and then run in torrents across the ground, causing flood damage, and eventually, pain and sorrow for someone. In this place, however, the rain just seemed to disappear into the ground. There were a few puddles, of course, but mostly, the apparently spongy ground just swallowed it up.
I just stood there and watched it fall. Even more, I smelled and felt this rain, or at least the mist that filled the air of the porch where I was as I stood and experienced this moment. The air was warm, but not hot, somewhat like in your shower at home. The air was humid, but not uncomfortably so. In fact, everything about this moment and this place was completely refreshing.
The image of me standing there that day has stayed with me for years. I have been to Costa Rica on four other occasions, and have visited many of that country's impressive sites. I have also traveled to many other exciting and impressive locales. Yet never before or since has a simple rain shower so stirred my soul, or pleased me so, as it did that rainy day in the jungle.
I wish you all only pleasant rains and warm, blue sky days from this day onwards.
All the best,
Hugh
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
The Family Liberation Nation!
Dear Friend,
I have been distilling my ideas for helping people to achieve their dreams. If you are an adult, and if you have a family of your own, you know the forces at work in your life to put you on a straight jacket path into a rat-race future.
My life has always been about resisting that straight jacket, without substantial negative impact to my relaxed and comfortable lifestyle, and in teaching others how to live this way too. In fact, at their core, just about every MLM or other internet marketing program that gets shoved down your throat in email spam and otherwise is really directed to achieve the same thing - to enable grownups like us to escape the prison of the cubicle, the kitchen, or the minivan, and to instead pursue our dreams in any way we desire, without forcing our family to live in a cardboard box under an overpass while dining out of garbage cans.
The problem, the missing element out of all of this, is that there has never been a conceptual framework, an image that people can grab hold of and say, "Yes!, That's me! That's how I want my family to live our lives!."
I call this new framework the "Family Liberation Movement," and those who choose to be a part of this resistance to the mediocre as the "Family Liberation Nation." We choose to live our own lives, sharing as much with the Ozzie and Harriot set as we individually wish, but living lives and earning wealth in a manner defined by our steadfast determination to make our own life choices and to pursue our lifestyles as we see fit.
If this approach to living your life sounds intriguing, then stick around. I know that you must have many questions. You should also have thoughts of your own as to the best way to achieve this new approach to family life. Let's join together in the creation of our new world, and declare our independence from the tyranny of suburbia!
Won't you join me and become a citizen of the Family Liberation Nation?
Talk to you soon!
Hugh
I have been distilling my ideas for helping people to achieve their dreams. If you are an adult, and if you have a family of your own, you know the forces at work in your life to put you on a straight jacket path into a rat-race future.
My life has always been about resisting that straight jacket, without substantial negative impact to my relaxed and comfortable lifestyle, and in teaching others how to live this way too. In fact, at their core, just about every MLM or other internet marketing program that gets shoved down your throat in email spam and otherwise is really directed to achieve the same thing - to enable grownups like us to escape the prison of the cubicle, the kitchen, or the minivan, and to instead pursue our dreams in any way we desire, without forcing our family to live in a cardboard box under an overpass while dining out of garbage cans.
The problem, the missing element out of all of this, is that there has never been a conceptual framework, an image that people can grab hold of and say, "Yes!, That's me! That's how I want my family to live our lives!."
I call this new framework the "Family Liberation Movement," and those who choose to be a part of this resistance to the mediocre as the "Family Liberation Nation." We choose to live our own lives, sharing as much with the Ozzie and Harriot set as we individually wish, but living lives and earning wealth in a manner defined by our steadfast determination to make our own life choices and to pursue our lifestyles as we see fit.
If this approach to living your life sounds intriguing, then stick around. I know that you must have many questions. You should also have thoughts of your own as to the best way to achieve this new approach to family life. Let's join together in the creation of our new world, and declare our independence from the tyranny of suburbia!
Won't you join me and become a citizen of the Family Liberation Nation?
Talk to you soon!
Hugh
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Families Without Limits
Dear Friend,
I have to be honest. Since I started blogging several months ago, I've been struggling to discover my own, personal niche in this world. In fact, I think that I've been struggling all of my life to find that niche. Yet in my heart I have always felt that I well knew my place, and that I had a great deal to offer to my fellow man that was desperately needed and that was not being adequately delivered by others.
Getting my head to discover what my heart already seemed to know has not been easy. Mostly because, I believe, I have been "thinking" about this with my mind, rather than with my heart (which is the true well of wisdom in my life, and probably in yours as well).
I know that I love to inspire people to move beyond perceived limits in their lives. I am also inspired by and driven to emulate aspects of the lives of people who have discovered the world in all of its raw glory, not hesitating to go where many others might hesitate. It is the freedom that these folks personify that most inspires me. But I am also secretly jealous of their ability to pursue their passions without the burdens of everyday life that seem to thwart most of us.
One of the greatest hurdles that seems to stand in the way of most folks (including myself) who dream of a life of true liberty and self-directed freedom is the fact that we have families (in my case, a fairly large one) and the attendant responsibilities that come along with them. I imagine that many a man sits in a bar, secretly bemoaning the dreams and experiences of his youth that seem to be cut off forever by that screeching bundle of joy he just left with the wife back home. Such feelings also must contribute to a great deal of resentment and stress between spouses. I wonder how many divorces have, at their most fundamental root, a resentment by one or both spouses over their perception of a significant loss of freedom that their marriage and family brought to their lives.
I have been a student of this phenomenon practically all of my life. For some reason, I have always refused to accept imprisonment in any form. I have always believed that it is our own perceptions of reality, much more than reality itself, that limit our personal freedom to pursue our desired lifestyle. In particular I believe that it is our acquiescence to conventional, inside-the-box thinking, along with a desire not to challenge the expectations of extended family members and friends, that imprisons all of us and teaches us the false lesson that "grown-ups don't have dreams, they have jobs instead."
I also realize that there are very few realistic life models being provided to the world that include both family and freedom. We are given fairly rigid models for how our lives are supposed to be lived. Families live in the suburbs, we are told. Adventure is for college kids who backpack across Europe, sacking out in hostels. It's time to grow up. Or, to run out on your family.
There has to be a better way. Family life cannot be a prison for those of us who refuse to live the Ozzie and Harriot lifestyle.
I admit that I am not some adventure junkie. In fact, I have yet to do one of those zip-line thingys during my five trips to Costa Rica (if you've been there then you know what I'm talking about).
I loved Tim Ferris' book, "The Four Hour Work Week," which described a very unconventional lifestyle of travel and adventure being lived by a 20-something, unattached genius overachiever. The book was a huge hit, in fact. However, it was written by a guy that almost no one can identify with. What the world needs, I believe, is a road map to freedom for the rest of us. And particularly for those great many of us who refuse to be imprisoned in the weighty shackles of conventional suburban lifestyles.
I believe that I was brought to this world to create that roadmap, and to bring it to you.
We are all in this life together, and many of us want the same thing. The freedom to live our lives as we choose. I propose that we help each other to achieve just that. Without the sacrifices that we fear. And while bringing our families along for the ride.
Such adventures may just be the greatest gift that a parent can give to a child. And the stresses of travel can create a solid foundation for a marriage just as easily as they can tear one apart. In fact, I believe that such stress can never cause injury to a relationship that would not eventually occur anyway. It just brings inherent flaws to the fore sooner.
I am The Passionate Warrior. I am a husband, a father, and a warrior for personal freedom. This is my quest. Won't you join me? I can't wait to get started!
All the best,
Hugh
I have to be honest. Since I started blogging several months ago, I've been struggling to discover my own, personal niche in this world. In fact, I think that I've been struggling all of my life to find that niche. Yet in my heart I have always felt that I well knew my place, and that I had a great deal to offer to my fellow man that was desperately needed and that was not being adequately delivered by others.
Getting my head to discover what my heart already seemed to know has not been easy. Mostly because, I believe, I have been "thinking" about this with my mind, rather than with my heart (which is the true well of wisdom in my life, and probably in yours as well).
I know that I love to inspire people to move beyond perceived limits in their lives. I am also inspired by and driven to emulate aspects of the lives of people who have discovered the world in all of its raw glory, not hesitating to go where many others might hesitate. It is the freedom that these folks personify that most inspires me. But I am also secretly jealous of their ability to pursue their passions without the burdens of everyday life that seem to thwart most of us.
One of the greatest hurdles that seems to stand in the way of most folks (including myself) who dream of a life of true liberty and self-directed freedom is the fact that we have families (in my case, a fairly large one) and the attendant responsibilities that come along with them. I imagine that many a man sits in a bar, secretly bemoaning the dreams and experiences of his youth that seem to be cut off forever by that screeching bundle of joy he just left with the wife back home. Such feelings also must contribute to a great deal of resentment and stress between spouses. I wonder how many divorces have, at their most fundamental root, a resentment by one or both spouses over their perception of a significant loss of freedom that their marriage and family brought to their lives.
I have been a student of this phenomenon practically all of my life. For some reason, I have always refused to accept imprisonment in any form. I have always believed that it is our own perceptions of reality, much more than reality itself, that limit our personal freedom to pursue our desired lifestyle. In particular I believe that it is our acquiescence to conventional, inside-the-box thinking, along with a desire not to challenge the expectations of extended family members and friends, that imprisons all of us and teaches us the false lesson that "grown-ups don't have dreams, they have jobs instead."
I also realize that there are very few realistic life models being provided to the world that include both family and freedom. We are given fairly rigid models for how our lives are supposed to be lived. Families live in the suburbs, we are told. Adventure is for college kids who backpack across Europe, sacking out in hostels. It's time to grow up. Or, to run out on your family.
There has to be a better way. Family life cannot be a prison for those of us who refuse to live the Ozzie and Harriot lifestyle.
I admit that I am not some adventure junkie. In fact, I have yet to do one of those zip-line thingys during my five trips to Costa Rica (if you've been there then you know what I'm talking about).
I loved Tim Ferris' book, "The Four Hour Work Week," which described a very unconventional lifestyle of travel and adventure being lived by a 20-something, unattached genius overachiever. The book was a huge hit, in fact. However, it was written by a guy that almost no one can identify with. What the world needs, I believe, is a road map to freedom for the rest of us. And particularly for those great many of us who refuse to be imprisoned in the weighty shackles of conventional suburban lifestyles.
I believe that I was brought to this world to create that roadmap, and to bring it to you.
We are all in this life together, and many of us want the same thing. The freedom to live our lives as we choose. I propose that we help each other to achieve just that. Without the sacrifices that we fear. And while bringing our families along for the ride.
Such adventures may just be the greatest gift that a parent can give to a child. And the stresses of travel can create a solid foundation for a marriage just as easily as they can tear one apart. In fact, I believe that such stress can never cause injury to a relationship that would not eventually occur anyway. It just brings inherent flaws to the fore sooner.
I am The Passionate Warrior. I am a husband, a father, and a warrior for personal freedom. This is my quest. Won't you join me? I can't wait to get started!
All the best,
Hugh
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Parenthood
Dear Friend,
My kids are all crying. You see, my youngest took a snack from my older daughter, who started crying. Then my younger son wanted the snack. My oldest told them all that they should just stop fighting over a silly snack. Then my wife told them they were all going to bed at 7:30 tonight because they were fighting, and she reminded them that they stayed up late the night before. That's when everybody opened up.
That, my friends, is a typical evening in my house. If you have a bunch of kids, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you don't, you're probably praying for infertility about now.
It can be hard to wax poetically about the joys of parenthood when this is the kind of background noise one writes to. Yet, parenting has its happy times. For me, it's spending time with each individual child. Getting to know each of them as individuals. And cuddling with them is nice, too.
For me, parenting is an opportunity to save at least four kids from dumb parenting. Which means that I can't be a dumb parent - a tall order.
What does parenthood mean to you? Were you a parent by choice, by acquiescence or by accident? Did the manner that you started out as a parent effect your experience as a parent? What were your expectations and how has reality compared to them? In what ways has parenthood changed you as a person? How are different than you were before? And if you're not a parent, how do discussions like this effect your fantasies about becoming one?
I look forward to your thoughts. It's an important topic!
All the best,
Hugh
My kids are all crying. You see, my youngest took a snack from my older daughter, who started crying. Then my younger son wanted the snack. My oldest told them all that they should just stop fighting over a silly snack. Then my wife told them they were all going to bed at 7:30 tonight because they were fighting, and she reminded them that they stayed up late the night before. That's when everybody opened up.
That, my friends, is a typical evening in my house. If you have a bunch of kids, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you don't, you're probably praying for infertility about now.
It can be hard to wax poetically about the joys of parenthood when this is the kind of background noise one writes to. Yet, parenting has its happy times. For me, it's spending time with each individual child. Getting to know each of them as individuals. And cuddling with them is nice, too.
For me, parenting is an opportunity to save at least four kids from dumb parenting. Which means that I can't be a dumb parent - a tall order.
What does parenthood mean to you? Were you a parent by choice, by acquiescence or by accident? Did the manner that you started out as a parent effect your experience as a parent? What were your expectations and how has reality compared to them? In what ways has parenthood changed you as a person? How are different than you were before? And if you're not a parent, how do discussions like this effect your fantasies about becoming one?
I look forward to your thoughts. It's an important topic!
All the best,
Hugh
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Experiencing Our World
Dear Friend,
I have done some traveling in my life, though much less than I would prefer. It always seems that the responsibilities that we so lightly assume one day serve to tie us down so that opportunities that arise later for a more mobile lifestyle are missed.
It is also quite true that traveling with family, and especially with young children, adds an entirely new (and often difficult) challenge.
In the traveling that I have done I have been honored to explore Argentina (with my entire family and for a month), Costa Rica (five times; once with my oldest son), the Canadian Maritimes (for about two weeks and with the whole gang), Japan (for ten days when I was a teenager), the Bahamas (by sailboat as crew, and later by cruise ship with my oldest daughter), and Bermuda (for ten days for our honeymoon - no kids yet). My wife and I have also driven across large portions of the US several times dragging a travel trailer and four screaming kids. That's an interesting experience.
In all of this traveling the one thing that impacted me most was not the scenery (though some was breathtaking), or the cultural attractions (though many were fascinating), or the entertainment. The one thing that struck me most in my travels, and which I consider most significant when I discern the value of a travel visit, is the attitude of the people in the places I visit.
We all know that individuals vary, and that mean people and nice people inhabit all parts of our globe. However I have found that some cultures have a built-in character that sets them apart.
Great philosophers of history often counseled that to fail to travel in life was to fail to understand the world. Some people today claim that this was a view true for a world where books were extremely rare and modern communications inconceivable. Today online tools like Twitter allow us to chat on an intimate level with folks on the other side of the planet, in real time. In fact, with the incredible power of the Web and media to inform us of the joys and sorrows around the world, physical travel seems almost an extravagant luxury.
I am a huge believer in the virtual power of the Internet and modern media. If I had not traveled as I have I would probably be among those who poo-poo the importance of physical travel. However I have traveled, and I have learned that our eyes and our brain's frontal lobe are not the only tools that human beings utilize to sense the significance of a place, or a people.
We are creatures who have existed for for many thousands or even millions of years and who have evolved to communicate and experience the world with every sense we have. Until our technology allows unfettered, unedited access for all of our senses to anyplace we want to experience, we will need to travel with our bodies to fully understand it. Even more significantly, when traveling with others, the complexities of your relationships with each of those people and between those people will color the way in which you consider what your senses tell you about a place and a people. Therefore, you can travel to the same place, and see the same people, many times, but if you bring different travel partners each time then each travel experience will be unique.
My children are growing up fast. I could do as my dad had to do, and work long hours in an office Monday through Saturday and rest my tired bones on Sunday, just so I could take my family to Disney a few times. Or, I can wield every new technology I can get my hands on to design a life and a lifestyle for my family that allows us to experience as much of our world and its people as possible before my kids go off and begin to explore their own lives.
I choose to live this way. Writer Tim Ferris calls it a "Self Directed Life." I like that phrase. That's the life I'm gonna live. How about you?
All the best,
Hugh
I have done some traveling in my life, though much less than I would prefer. It always seems that the responsibilities that we so lightly assume one day serve to tie us down so that opportunities that arise later for a more mobile lifestyle are missed.
It is also quite true that traveling with family, and especially with young children, adds an entirely new (and often difficult) challenge.
In the traveling that I have done I have been honored to explore Argentina (with my entire family and for a month), Costa Rica (five times; once with my oldest son), the Canadian Maritimes (for about two weeks and with the whole gang), Japan (for ten days when I was a teenager), the Bahamas (by sailboat as crew, and later by cruise ship with my oldest daughter), and Bermuda (for ten days for our honeymoon - no kids yet). My wife and I have also driven across large portions of the US several times dragging a travel trailer and four screaming kids. That's an interesting experience.
In all of this traveling the one thing that impacted me most was not the scenery (though some was breathtaking), or the cultural attractions (though many were fascinating), or the entertainment. The one thing that struck me most in my travels, and which I consider most significant when I discern the value of a travel visit, is the attitude of the people in the places I visit.
We all know that individuals vary, and that mean people and nice people inhabit all parts of our globe. However I have found that some cultures have a built-in character that sets them apart.
Great philosophers of history often counseled that to fail to travel in life was to fail to understand the world. Some people today claim that this was a view true for a world where books were extremely rare and modern communications inconceivable. Today online tools like Twitter allow us to chat on an intimate level with folks on the other side of the planet, in real time. In fact, with the incredible power of the Web and media to inform us of the joys and sorrows around the world, physical travel seems almost an extravagant luxury.
I am a huge believer in the virtual power of the Internet and modern media. If I had not traveled as I have I would probably be among those who poo-poo the importance of physical travel. However I have traveled, and I have learned that our eyes and our brain's frontal lobe are not the only tools that human beings utilize to sense the significance of a place, or a people.
We are creatures who have existed for for many thousands or even millions of years and who have evolved to communicate and experience the world with every sense we have. Until our technology allows unfettered, unedited access for all of our senses to anyplace we want to experience, we will need to travel with our bodies to fully understand it. Even more significantly, when traveling with others, the complexities of your relationships with each of those people and between those people will color the way in which you consider what your senses tell you about a place and a people. Therefore, you can travel to the same place, and see the same people, many times, but if you bring different travel partners each time then each travel experience will be unique.
My children are growing up fast. I could do as my dad had to do, and work long hours in an office Monday through Saturday and rest my tired bones on Sunday, just so I could take my family to Disney a few times. Or, I can wield every new technology I can get my hands on to design a life and a lifestyle for my family that allows us to experience as much of our world and its people as possible before my kids go off and begin to explore their own lives.
I choose to live this way. Writer Tim Ferris calls it a "Self Directed Life." I like that phrase. That's the life I'm gonna live. How about you?
All the best,
Hugh
Monday, April 20, 2009
Stirring Up the Wind
Dear Friend,
Is it better to spread tranquility or discord?
That may seem like a strange question, but great philosophers have disagreed on this point throughout time.
If your life's mission is to spread peace in its simplest and most basic form, then it seems logical to focus your efforts on spreading a sense of peace wherever you go.
If, on the other hand, your mission is to awaken others from a spiritual slumber and into a new awareness of reality, then your mission may literally be to spread discord.
Jesus of Nazareth said himself in (Mat 10:34-36) "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. (35) For I have come to turn "'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law-- (36) a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.'
For those of us less initiated in Christian theology this doesn't exactly sound like the Jesus we thought we knew. Yet Jesus, Socrates, Buddha, Confucius and Gandhi can all be said to have been prophets and philosophers who came to the world intent on shaking it up. None of these men simply walked around smiling and holding up peace signs, although their nature certainly encompassed a love of peace.
Is it better to spread tranquility or discord? Well, we might say that it is best to follow your life's mission, roll with life's punches, and hopefully spread peace in the moment, even while stirring things up to ensure a greater peace for all time.
What are your thoughts?
Talk to you soon,
Hugh
Is it better to spread tranquility or discord?
That may seem like a strange question, but great philosophers have disagreed on this point throughout time.
If your life's mission is to spread peace in its simplest and most basic form, then it seems logical to focus your efforts on spreading a sense of peace wherever you go.
If, on the other hand, your mission is to awaken others from a spiritual slumber and into a new awareness of reality, then your mission may literally be to spread discord.
Jesus of Nazareth said himself in (Mat 10:34-36) "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. (35) For I have come to turn "'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law-- (36) a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.'
For those of us less initiated in Christian theology this doesn't exactly sound like the Jesus we thought we knew. Yet Jesus, Socrates, Buddha, Confucius and Gandhi can all be said to have been prophets and philosophers who came to the world intent on shaking it up. None of these men simply walked around smiling and holding up peace signs, although their nature certainly encompassed a love of peace.
Is it better to spread tranquility or discord? Well, we might say that it is best to follow your life's mission, roll with life's punches, and hopefully spread peace in the moment, even while stirring things up to ensure a greater peace for all time.
What are your thoughts?
Talk to you soon,
Hugh
The Birthday Party
Dear Friend,
My family had a birthday party for my mom yesterday. She's 74 years old, and in good health. Just about everyone was there, except one of my sisters (no explanation), my other sister's daughter (some bad blood with her mom there), and my oldest son.
I was responsible for my oldest son not making the party. You see, he was spending the weekend at his best friend's house. He has such a great time when he is there.
Now, of all of my kids, my eldest really works hard to be of help to the family. His efforts are not totally unselfish, of course, and that's OK with me. He has learned that, generally speaking, you have to give to get in this world. And as a result of his extra efforts, I try to make some special effort in his favor when I can, without generating jealousies from the rest of my crew.
I had told him originally that it was fine for him to spend the weekend at his friend's house. I had forgotten about the birthday party. When my wife realized this on the day of the party she thought it best to go get him. I told her not to. I promised to talk to my mom about it and, in fact she was cool with it. She just asked that he stop by her house today after school so she could spend some time with him. I thought that was a great idea.
Here were my reasons for leaving my son alone. I'd like your opinion whether I was right or wrong and what you might have done under the same circumstances:
1. He has been so excited about this sleepover, and I did not want to spoil it for him.
2. He sees my mom almost every day, as she lives nearby.
3. I thought that the surprise change of plans might make him resent mandatory family gatherings more than he already does.
4. Although he would be missed by some family members, I really wanted to stand up for his happiness at that moment.
My wife disagreed. She felt that there are just some things that have to be done, and that was that. Family responsibilities are a very big deal to my wife. Yet, to her credit, she let me run with this one. I try a more unconventional approach of balancing individual happiness with what I view as the deeper significance of the particular event (or lack thereof) at the particular moment.
I don't know. Maybe my wife was right. My sister said I was just spoiling my son. Maybe I just wanted to win points with him since just the other day he told me how happy he was that I was his dad. :-))
Maybe my son is playing me? He is a shrewd guy (but a very good hearted one, and not at all spoiled, thank god). If he is playing me, he is very good at it (and I have to admit that I'm kind of impressed with that). He has never pushed matters with me, so he has earned some leeway.
Maybe it was just one of the thousands of little judgment calls and balancing acts that we engage in as parents, everyday. Who knows.
In the long run, as long as I don't screw my kids up too much, I figure that I've probably done as well as I can, anyway.
Oh well. I'd love to hear your thoughts, or just hear from you on any topic of interest. I love to chat about things that help us to learn and grow.
Wishing you a great week,
Hugh
My family had a birthday party for my mom yesterday. She's 74 years old, and in good health. Just about everyone was there, except one of my sisters (no explanation), my other sister's daughter (some bad blood with her mom there), and my oldest son.
I was responsible for my oldest son not making the party. You see, he was spending the weekend at his best friend's house. He has such a great time when he is there.
Now, of all of my kids, my eldest really works hard to be of help to the family. His efforts are not totally unselfish, of course, and that's OK with me. He has learned that, generally speaking, you have to give to get in this world. And as a result of his extra efforts, I try to make some special effort in his favor when I can, without generating jealousies from the rest of my crew.
I had told him originally that it was fine for him to spend the weekend at his friend's house. I had forgotten about the birthday party. When my wife realized this on the day of the party she thought it best to go get him. I told her not to. I promised to talk to my mom about it and, in fact she was cool with it. She just asked that he stop by her house today after school so she could spend some time with him. I thought that was a great idea.
Here were my reasons for leaving my son alone. I'd like your opinion whether I was right or wrong and what you might have done under the same circumstances:
1. He has been so excited about this sleepover, and I did not want to spoil it for him.
2. He sees my mom almost every day, as she lives nearby.
3. I thought that the surprise change of plans might make him resent mandatory family gatherings more than he already does.
4. Although he would be missed by some family members, I really wanted to stand up for his happiness at that moment.
My wife disagreed. She felt that there are just some things that have to be done, and that was that. Family responsibilities are a very big deal to my wife. Yet, to her credit, she let me run with this one. I try a more unconventional approach of balancing individual happiness with what I view as the deeper significance of the particular event (or lack thereof) at the particular moment.
I don't know. Maybe my wife was right. My sister said I was just spoiling my son. Maybe I just wanted to win points with him since just the other day he told me how happy he was that I was his dad. :-))
Maybe my son is playing me? He is a shrewd guy (but a very good hearted one, and not at all spoiled, thank god). If he is playing me, he is very good at it (and I have to admit that I'm kind of impressed with that). He has never pushed matters with me, so he has earned some leeway.
Maybe it was just one of the thousands of little judgment calls and balancing acts that we engage in as parents, everyday. Who knows.
In the long run, as long as I don't screw my kids up too much, I figure that I've probably done as well as I can, anyway.
Oh well. I'd love to hear your thoughts, or just hear from you on any topic of interest. I love to chat about things that help us to learn and grow.
Wishing you a great week,
Hugh
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Swimming in the River
Dear Friend,
Today I stopped by one of those mega-gas-food-whatever stores along the highway. My family and I picked up some "healthy" food and expanded our waist lines a bit. When I was paying for everything I noticed those ubiquitous energy "shots" that guarantee "4 hour energy" or some similar promise at the check-out counter.
Of course I started to wonder. Are there really so many tired people out there that they need an energy boost in the middle of the day? The answer is obviously yes, or else the companies that produce this stuff wouldn't be proliferating so.
Why are people so tired? I assume that these things are being sold in the middle of the day to ordinary working people. I mean, that seemed to be the typical clientele of this particular establishment, and there was no college nearby where students might be amping up for an all night study (or party!) session.
So the question remains. Why so tired? Some folks claim the problem is our diet. At least here in North America the food tends to be prepackaged, highly refined, high in calories and fat and low in natural goodness, regardless of what the labels might say.
Other folks say that people are tired because they are running uphill, against their own natural current. When people do what they are meant to do, they naturally find the way easy and smooth. It's as if we are all swimming in our own individual "rivers," and when we swim with the current (follow our nature) we progress fast and easily. At times we can almost coast and let the natural momentum take us away.
Of course the opposite is true when we do not swim with our natural current. Instead, we may look at the direction others are swimming and mistakenly assume that we are all in the same river. If they are swimming in that direction, we think, then we had better do that too. Yet we don't realize that the ones we are following may be swimming with their natural current, while we would not be. Or, more likely, they may be doing exactly what we are, and following the crowd. And it's hard going. And tiring. And progress is slow. And we wonder why. Why aren't I more successful? Why am I so tired? Why haven't my dreams come true?
I believe that it is only when each of us discovers the nature of our own personal "river" - our true path - that we can arrange ourselves so that we flow with the strongest part of the current, right over the falls if need be. And we have nothing to fear because we are doing exactly what we were meant to do. All of our effort is magnified twenty times as compared with when we fought against our true nature.
Think about it. Are you often tired? More than you think that you should be? Put down the donut, pick up a carrot, and think about the river you have been swimming in.
Thanks and all the best,
Hugh
Today I stopped by one of those mega-gas-food-whatever stores along the highway. My family and I picked up some "healthy" food and expanded our waist lines a bit. When I was paying for everything I noticed those ubiquitous energy "shots" that guarantee "4 hour energy" or some similar promise at the check-out counter.
Of course I started to wonder. Are there really so many tired people out there that they need an energy boost in the middle of the day? The answer is obviously yes, or else the companies that produce this stuff wouldn't be proliferating so.
Why are people so tired? I assume that these things are being sold in the middle of the day to ordinary working people. I mean, that seemed to be the typical clientele of this particular establishment, and there was no college nearby where students might be amping up for an all night study (or party!) session.
So the question remains. Why so tired? Some folks claim the problem is our diet. At least here in North America the food tends to be prepackaged, highly refined, high in calories and fat and low in natural goodness, regardless of what the labels might say.
Other folks say that people are tired because they are running uphill, against their own natural current. When people do what they are meant to do, they naturally find the way easy and smooth. It's as if we are all swimming in our own individual "rivers," and when we swim with the current (follow our nature) we progress fast and easily. At times we can almost coast and let the natural momentum take us away.
Of course the opposite is true when we do not swim with our natural current. Instead, we may look at the direction others are swimming and mistakenly assume that we are all in the same river. If they are swimming in that direction, we think, then we had better do that too. Yet we don't realize that the ones we are following may be swimming with their natural current, while we would not be. Or, more likely, they may be doing exactly what we are, and following the crowd. And it's hard going. And tiring. And progress is slow. And we wonder why. Why aren't I more successful? Why am I so tired? Why haven't my dreams come true?
I believe that it is only when each of us discovers the nature of our own personal "river" - our true path - that we can arrange ourselves so that we flow with the strongest part of the current, right over the falls if need be. And we have nothing to fear because we are doing exactly what we were meant to do. All of our effort is magnified twenty times as compared with when we fought against our true nature.
Think about it. Are you often tired? More than you think that you should be? Put down the donut, pick up a carrot, and think about the river you have been swimming in.
Thanks and all the best,
Hugh
Monday, April 13, 2009
Trivial Things
Dear Friend,
What is the essence of a person? Are we simply a jumble of fears, desires, and habits, rolled into one incoherent whole? Are we the sum total of the love we share with others? Are we bags of mostly water that move around a bit on the surface of an obscure planet, and then blend back into the regolith?
Yes, I know that this is deep, rather esoteric stuff. Perhaps not very practical, and I love to tie the complex with the real, tangible here and now. But I participated in the writing of a eulogy for my friend's funeral today and it seemed on reflection that it was the moments of humor, the smiles and warmth of a greeting, the complexities of personality that take others by surprise, that others define a person by. And it is generally only upon death that such things are considered.
Some people say that we should live life like we'll die tomorrow, other that we should live like we'll live forever. I think that if I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would be too much in shock to do much of anything. If I knew that I would live forever, I might not worry so much about every setback or the pace of my progress. On the other hand, I might "waste" my life with trivial things. But then again, what are "trivial" things?
People spend their lives planning for a future that rarely comes, trying to make money they probably don't need. Working and spending a great deal of their lives with people they don't really like. All because life is short, and hard, and they have to get ahead while they can, so that the good life will finally bless them.
What if people spent their time listening to a four year old babbling about something not quite coherent, but clearly important to her? What if people spent more time examining the shimmering nature of an otherwise ordinary tree? What if people wasted so much time that they discovered what the world really looked like? What if they discovered that the trivial things are all that really matter in life?
Just some thoughts. What do you think?
Talk to you soon.
Hugh
What is the essence of a person? Are we simply a jumble of fears, desires, and habits, rolled into one incoherent whole? Are we the sum total of the love we share with others? Are we bags of mostly water that move around a bit on the surface of an obscure planet, and then blend back into the regolith?
Yes, I know that this is deep, rather esoteric stuff. Perhaps not very practical, and I love to tie the complex with the real, tangible here and now. But I participated in the writing of a eulogy for my friend's funeral today and it seemed on reflection that it was the moments of humor, the smiles and warmth of a greeting, the complexities of personality that take others by surprise, that others define a person by. And it is generally only upon death that such things are considered.
Some people say that we should live life like we'll die tomorrow, other that we should live like we'll live forever. I think that if I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would be too much in shock to do much of anything. If I knew that I would live forever, I might not worry so much about every setback or the pace of my progress. On the other hand, I might "waste" my life with trivial things. But then again, what are "trivial" things?
People spend their lives planning for a future that rarely comes, trying to make money they probably don't need. Working and spending a great deal of their lives with people they don't really like. All because life is short, and hard, and they have to get ahead while they can, so that the good life will finally bless them.
What if people spent their time listening to a four year old babbling about something not quite coherent, but clearly important to her? What if people spent more time examining the shimmering nature of an otherwise ordinary tree? What if people wasted so much time that they discovered what the world really looked like? What if they discovered that the trivial things are all that really matter in life?
Just some thoughts. What do you think?
Talk to you soon.
Hugh
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Following My Own Stars
Dear Friend,
Like many people, I have spent the greater part of my life not really living my own life. I was not fortunate enough to meet a mentor early in my days who might have awakened me to what my life could really be. As well, I have discovered that, at least in my case, my entire personality, intellect and interests seem to have been designed for a single purpose - to explore, to learn, and to communicate what I discover to the world.
It is sad to look back and imagine what might have been in my life had I made this discovery earlier. Perhaps everything that happened in my early days had to happen in order for me to be prepared for the true journey of my life, for my "destiny" if you will. Nevertheless today I am driven to, among other things, ensure that the young people that I encounter do not make the same mistakes that I did.
Now I don't pretend to know how others should live their lives. However, I do believe that everyone needs to live their life consciously, following their own unique calling, and this path requires that one first discover that calling. That is the message I want to deliver, and I know that I am gifted with sufficient communications skills and desire to deliver this message, and to have a positive impact on the lives of others of all ages. At minimum, I aim to do not harm.
I hope that this blog in some way moves that mission forward. It is not my sole mission, of course. I enjoy exploration simply for the thrill of discovery. I enjoy learning for the same reason. And I love the unfortunately rare opportunity to share these experiences with those who are like-minded.
Thank you for joining me on this journey. I look forward to counting you among the most important friends of my life. Friends on a common journey to follow our own stars.
Best wishes to you all. Have a great week!
Hugh
Like many people, I have spent the greater part of my life not really living my own life. I was not fortunate enough to meet a mentor early in my days who might have awakened me to what my life could really be. As well, I have discovered that, at least in my case, my entire personality, intellect and interests seem to have been designed for a single purpose - to explore, to learn, and to communicate what I discover to the world.
It is sad to look back and imagine what might have been in my life had I made this discovery earlier. Perhaps everything that happened in my early days had to happen in order for me to be prepared for the true journey of my life, for my "destiny" if you will. Nevertheless today I am driven to, among other things, ensure that the young people that I encounter do not make the same mistakes that I did.
Now I don't pretend to know how others should live their lives. However, I do believe that everyone needs to live their life consciously, following their own unique calling, and this path requires that one first discover that calling. That is the message I want to deliver, and I know that I am gifted with sufficient communications skills and desire to deliver this message, and to have a positive impact on the lives of others of all ages. At minimum, I aim to do not harm.
I hope that this blog in some way moves that mission forward. It is not my sole mission, of course. I enjoy exploration simply for the thrill of discovery. I enjoy learning for the same reason. And I love the unfortunately rare opportunity to share these experiences with those who are like-minded.
Thank you for joining me on this journey. I look forward to counting you among the most important friends of my life. Friends on a common journey to follow our own stars.
Best wishes to you all. Have a great week!
Hugh
Friday, April 10, 2009
Dealing with Death
Dear Friend,
My good friend died this morning. We knew it was coming, of course. We arrived at his home only last night.
I didn't feel bad for him. I believe that he was finally released from a now-useless body and probably feels great. I'm glad that today he can be with us without a struggle. I'm not religious, but I'm a firm believer in life after death - or maybe I should say that I believe that life and consciousness transcend any physical presence. That belief helps me immeasurably.
I was worried a bit about my kids. They are here with us and it was actually my six-year-old who woke me this morning to let me know that the death had occurred.
It turns out that I had no good reason to worry about the kids. They have no fear of death. They seem to accept it as a natural part of life quite readily. It's the adults I need to take special care of. Perhaps because they knew the deceased better. Perhaps because of the anticipation of lost friendship. And also perhaps because, we must admit, it reminds us so tangibly of our own mortality.
Of course his widow is having the hardest time, as expected. Today and especially thereafter she needs our love and companionship more than ever. It is a daunting thing to both lose a partner and to face the prospect (and then the reality) of living alone.
The phone rings incessantly now. And relatives are starting to arrive so I must go.
Today, I feel happy for my friend. And sad for his widow. And that's where I will focus my energies.
All the best,
Hugh
My good friend died this morning. We knew it was coming, of course. We arrived at his home only last night.
I didn't feel bad for him. I believe that he was finally released from a now-useless body and probably feels great. I'm glad that today he can be with us without a struggle. I'm not religious, but I'm a firm believer in life after death - or maybe I should say that I believe that life and consciousness transcend any physical presence. That belief helps me immeasurably.
I was worried a bit about my kids. They are here with us and it was actually my six-year-old who woke me this morning to let me know that the death had occurred.
It turns out that I had no good reason to worry about the kids. They have no fear of death. They seem to accept it as a natural part of life quite readily. It's the adults I need to take special care of. Perhaps because they knew the deceased better. Perhaps because of the anticipation of lost friendship. And also perhaps because, we must admit, it reminds us so tangibly of our own mortality.
Of course his widow is having the hardest time, as expected. Today and especially thereafter she needs our love and companionship more than ever. It is a daunting thing to both lose a partner and to face the prospect (and then the reality) of living alone.
The phone rings incessantly now. And relatives are starting to arrive so I must go.
Today, I feel happy for my friend. And sad for his widow. And that's where I will focus my energies.
All the best,
Hugh
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Death and Life
Dear Friend,
As I sit here a man is dying next to me. Each breath comes with great effort. He is not conscious. Suffering from a devastating and rare brain disease I watch as the most basic parts of his brain struggle to keep his lungs bringing in life-giving oxygen.
Around me children play, oblivious to what is happening. Adults speak of funeral arrangements and the cost of tombstones. Neighbors stop by and drop off food baskets and messages of condolence.
I know this man. I guess considering his condition (he is oblivious to all around him) perhaps I should say that I "knew" this man. He was a funny guy. He lived a rather extraordinary life. He could tell a great story. He built small houses and mini barns and read tons of late 19th and early 20th Century novels by obscure authors. He collected teapots.
He was a man. With a life. And now it ends. As I suppose it will for us all.
I think that he lived a good life. Perhaps he had regrets but he never spoke of them. He was able to leave a bit of money behind for his widow and children but not a great deal.
And that's about it. Someday that will be me. Or perhaps you. Breathing our last breaths. Dying. No one wants to think about it. No one wants to die. I suppose the best that we can do is to resolve to live more every day. To fear less, and to refuse to compromise on what really matters.
Live life like one day that will be you. I am going to strive to do the same. I think that this is all that any of us can do. Perhaps this is all that life is about. Just living each day.
Just my thoughts on a somber day. Hope your day is brighter.
All the best,
Hugh
As I sit here a man is dying next to me. Each breath comes with great effort. He is not conscious. Suffering from a devastating and rare brain disease I watch as the most basic parts of his brain struggle to keep his lungs bringing in life-giving oxygen.
Around me children play, oblivious to what is happening. Adults speak of funeral arrangements and the cost of tombstones. Neighbors stop by and drop off food baskets and messages of condolence.
I know this man. I guess considering his condition (he is oblivious to all around him) perhaps I should say that I "knew" this man. He was a funny guy. He lived a rather extraordinary life. He could tell a great story. He built small houses and mini barns and read tons of late 19th and early 20th Century novels by obscure authors. He collected teapots.
He was a man. With a life. And now it ends. As I suppose it will for us all.
I think that he lived a good life. Perhaps he had regrets but he never spoke of them. He was able to leave a bit of money behind for his widow and children but not a great deal.
And that's about it. Someday that will be me. Or perhaps you. Breathing our last breaths. Dying. No one wants to think about it. No one wants to die. I suppose the best that we can do is to resolve to live more every day. To fear less, and to refuse to compromise on what really matters.
Live life like one day that will be you. I am going to strive to do the same. I think that this is all that any of us can do. Perhaps this is all that life is about. Just living each day.
Just my thoughts on a somber day. Hope your day is brighter.
All the best,
Hugh
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Fear
Dear Friend,
Everyday, all around me, in faces, voices, and even in print, I see fear. People, many people, are afraid. They fear the apparent chaos of change in the world. They fear terrorist attack, or cancer, or "Frankenfood", or a thousand other things. In their own life, they fear making changes they know that they should make. They imagine a thousand deaths in a thousand different ways.
Some of these fears are reasonable. With the world financial markets recently wiping out 40% of the world's wealth in an instant, older folks on fixed incomes quite possibly face disaster. These are not lazy people. These are people who followed the rules all of their life. They saved and scrimped for decades. They even sacrificed their health, and probably a lot of happiness as well, to prepare for an old age of comfort and at least a little repose. To see all of that wiped out in an instant implies the possibility that there is nowhere to hide. And that the rules no longer apply. Some folks might even give up on following the rules altogether, and cheat, or steal. It's a dangerous time to be alive, in some ways.
Some folks blame the politicians. This is probably a good place to start. Unfortunately, they generally blame the "other guy's" politicians. They still think that they can win at the game of politics, a zero-sum game, if their side wins. Just observe the fear in the words of so many political and news junkies. You can feel the hate and the corrosive energy from some of these poor folks.
Most times are dangerous times to be alive. Drunk driving can kill any one of us tomorrow. Or slipping in the shower. And these causes are much more likely to hurt us than most of the bug-a-boos that we hear about on the nightly news. But they aren't sexy. They don't sell soap or beer. So on TV we hear about more exotic threats to our existence.
I am an optimist about our future. In fact, I am incredibly excited. And I am not in denial. I believe that a simple review of the forces that are forming our future requires such excitement. We are on the verge of a fantastic world where most of the worries that we carry today will become meaningless.
If you want to join me in this attitude, you need start with your own fear. You have it. You carry it like a disease. And it eats into your character like an acid that destroys your ability to live your life the way you were meant to live it.
Decide to reject fear. Just live. Do what you must do, and do not fear the consequences. Respect your fellow creatures. Treat them with kindness and compassion at all times. But do not temper your life out of fear of upsetting others. Do not hold back on living because of threats known and unknown. Use common sense. Avoid unnecessary risk. Then live your life, your way. This is the only way that anyone can truly live and be happy.
I wish you a fearless life. And a fulfilled one.
All the best,
Hugh
Everyday, all around me, in faces, voices, and even in print, I see fear. People, many people, are afraid. They fear the apparent chaos of change in the world. They fear terrorist attack, or cancer, or "Frankenfood", or a thousand other things. In their own life, they fear making changes they know that they should make. They imagine a thousand deaths in a thousand different ways.
Some of these fears are reasonable. With the world financial markets recently wiping out 40% of the world's wealth in an instant, older folks on fixed incomes quite possibly face disaster. These are not lazy people. These are people who followed the rules all of their life. They saved and scrimped for decades. They even sacrificed their health, and probably a lot of happiness as well, to prepare for an old age of comfort and at least a little repose. To see all of that wiped out in an instant implies the possibility that there is nowhere to hide. And that the rules no longer apply. Some folks might even give up on following the rules altogether, and cheat, or steal. It's a dangerous time to be alive, in some ways.
Some folks blame the politicians. This is probably a good place to start. Unfortunately, they generally blame the "other guy's" politicians. They still think that they can win at the game of politics, a zero-sum game, if their side wins. Just observe the fear in the words of so many political and news junkies. You can feel the hate and the corrosive energy from some of these poor folks.
Most times are dangerous times to be alive. Drunk driving can kill any one of us tomorrow. Or slipping in the shower. And these causes are much more likely to hurt us than most of the bug-a-boos that we hear about on the nightly news. But they aren't sexy. They don't sell soap or beer. So on TV we hear about more exotic threats to our existence.
I am an optimist about our future. In fact, I am incredibly excited. And I am not in denial. I believe that a simple review of the forces that are forming our future requires such excitement. We are on the verge of a fantastic world where most of the worries that we carry today will become meaningless.
If you want to join me in this attitude, you need start with your own fear. You have it. You carry it like a disease. And it eats into your character like an acid that destroys your ability to live your life the way you were meant to live it.
Decide to reject fear. Just live. Do what you must do, and do not fear the consequences. Respect your fellow creatures. Treat them with kindness and compassion at all times. But do not temper your life out of fear of upsetting others. Do not hold back on living because of threats known and unknown. Use common sense. Avoid unnecessary risk. Then live your life, your way. This is the only way that anyone can truly live and be happy.
I wish you a fearless life. And a fulfilled one.
All the best,
Hugh
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Why Do We Choke?
Dear Friend,
We have all experienced this. We have prepared like crazy. We are ready for the big moment (we think). Then when it arrives, we fumble and screw up. We choke. Why? And what can we do to avoid this problem?
Apparently, when we have practiced something thoroughly, the subconscious part of our brain turns this activity into an automatic one. So when, at the moment of performance, we over-try by thinking too much about our performance, we actually trip up these subconscious skills, and get in our own way.
And it seems that slowing down and taking your time is a mistake. When an action is well practiced it is much better to just jump in and do it. If you slow down you are switching gears to your conscious mind, and that's what will screw you up.
So, if you don't want to choke, cut off your preparation some time prior to your key moment of performance, even if you aren't sure you've got everything down (you never will). After that cut off point focus on the big ideas and thoughts. Particularly the first one you will talk about. Then just talk, and stop thinking consciously. Let yourself go and enjoy the moment. It can be fun to get off your chest what you have been studying for so long. So let it go.
Once you get started, it's really too late for the choke to kick in. You'll hit your stride and you may not want to stop!
Don't worry about choking. Just jump in and go! You'll know what to do. Trust me!
All the best,
Hugh
We have all experienced this. We have prepared like crazy. We are ready for the big moment (we think). Then when it arrives, we fumble and screw up. We choke. Why? And what can we do to avoid this problem?
Apparently, when we have practiced something thoroughly, the subconscious part of our brain turns this activity into an automatic one. So when, at the moment of performance, we over-try by thinking too much about our performance, we actually trip up these subconscious skills, and get in our own way.
And it seems that slowing down and taking your time is a mistake. When an action is well practiced it is much better to just jump in and do it. If you slow down you are switching gears to your conscious mind, and that's what will screw you up.
So, if you don't want to choke, cut off your preparation some time prior to your key moment of performance, even if you aren't sure you've got everything down (you never will). After that cut off point focus on the big ideas and thoughts. Particularly the first one you will talk about. Then just talk, and stop thinking consciously. Let yourself go and enjoy the moment. It can be fun to get off your chest what you have been studying for so long. So let it go.
Once you get started, it's really too late for the choke to kick in. You'll hit your stride and you may not want to stop!
Don't worry about choking. Just jump in and go! You'll know what to do. Trust me!
All the best,
Hugh
Surrender
Dear Friend,
I am a driven person. I don't know about you, but once I see a direction that I know I need to go it can drive me for decades without waver. This surprises me sometimes. I imagine myself as less steadfast, more wishy-washy than that. Yet when I look back over time, and particularly when I look at some of my older writings, I am surprised at just how consistent they are with what I write today.
Being driven to achieve what you want is a good thing. But it can also make you unconsciously resistant to the state of how things are. I mean, you aren't "there"yet, so don't relax, keep going - that kind of resistance to the moment, to the way things are right now.
This is a hard concept for most people to grasp and it's easy to forget about it in your everyday life. But you will never get "there." There is no "there." Yes you may be driven like me to achieve your goals. But achieving them won't fully satisfy you if you are not already satisfied with the right now. Huh?
Yes, that's right. Achieving your stated goals will not fully satisfy you. However, resolving to achieve those goals while taking real and tangible steps towards that achievement, will help to satisfy you. As long as you surrender to this moment fully, to the way it is right now, regardless of your recent degree of success or failure.
There is no tomorrow folks. And yesterday is only a memory. To be fully satisfied with your life it is the state of your mind and body at this very moment that matters. To resist acceptance of this moment because you have not yet achieved your life's goals is the biggest mistake that otherwise talented warriors in the game of life make.
Surrender to what is. Accept your lot in life, and then resolve to make it better. Accept that it is how you approach your life that brings the most satisfaction, not what you just achieved.
Achievement is fantastic, as long as you already felt that achievement long before it occurred. Visualize being where you desire to be, all the while you pursue it, and surrendering to this moment will be all the more blissful.
You will also discover how much of the beauty of your life you have been missing when you surrender to this moment. We are unaware of so much that exists simply because we don't take time to see it. Look. You will be amazed!
Enjoy your new moments, right now. Know that it is OK to let go - to surrender - to the now. You are not giving up on your drive to succeed. You are simply letting that drive do its work while you relax and enjoy life as it happens, and as you create it, right in front of your eyes.
Happy now!
All the best,
Hugh
I am a driven person. I don't know about you, but once I see a direction that I know I need to go it can drive me for decades without waver. This surprises me sometimes. I imagine myself as less steadfast, more wishy-washy than that. Yet when I look back over time, and particularly when I look at some of my older writings, I am surprised at just how consistent they are with what I write today.
Being driven to achieve what you want is a good thing. But it can also make you unconsciously resistant to the state of how things are. I mean, you aren't "there"yet, so don't relax, keep going - that kind of resistance to the moment, to the way things are right now.
This is a hard concept for most people to grasp and it's easy to forget about it in your everyday life. But you will never get "there." There is no "there." Yes you may be driven like me to achieve your goals. But achieving them won't fully satisfy you if you are not already satisfied with the right now. Huh?
Yes, that's right. Achieving your stated goals will not fully satisfy you. However, resolving to achieve those goals while taking real and tangible steps towards that achievement, will help to satisfy you. As long as you surrender to this moment fully, to the way it is right now, regardless of your recent degree of success or failure.
There is no tomorrow folks. And yesterday is only a memory. To be fully satisfied with your life it is the state of your mind and body at this very moment that matters. To resist acceptance of this moment because you have not yet achieved your life's goals is the biggest mistake that otherwise talented warriors in the game of life make.
Surrender to what is. Accept your lot in life, and then resolve to make it better. Accept that it is how you approach your life that brings the most satisfaction, not what you just achieved.
Achievement is fantastic, as long as you already felt that achievement long before it occurred. Visualize being where you desire to be, all the while you pursue it, and surrendering to this moment will be all the more blissful.
You will also discover how much of the beauty of your life you have been missing when you surrender to this moment. We are unaware of so much that exists simply because we don't take time to see it. Look. You will be amazed!
Enjoy your new moments, right now. Know that it is OK to let go - to surrender - to the now. You are not giving up on your drive to succeed. You are simply letting that drive do its work while you relax and enjoy life as it happens, and as you create it, right in front of your eyes.
Happy now!
All the best,
Hugh
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Minding My Own Business
Dear Friend,
My kids sometimes tell on each other. It is obvious that their main motivation is to get the other in trouble. But I suspect that they also think that they are fulfilling some duty to me or to the family by keeping me "informed" about all of the bad stuff that goes on around here.
Usually, my wife and I chastise our kids for telling. We say that being a tattle is not good. I believe that living in a free society requires that we do no ill to others, but it does not require that we be the eyes and ears of the State. Unless something real bad is about to happen to my friend or to some innocent, frankly I mind my own business. It's a judgment call, so it's a hard lesson to teach.
When you set out on a journey through life, one of the questions that you have to ask yourself is, "Am I on a mission to change the world to conform to what I think that it should be?" Or, alternatively, "Am I on a mission to change me to conform to the way I want to be?"
May I humbly suggest that we will all be more successful in our endeavors if our main efforts at change focus first and foremost on ourselves.
Just my opinion. What do you think?
All the best,
Hugh
My kids sometimes tell on each other. It is obvious that their main motivation is to get the other in trouble. But I suspect that they also think that they are fulfilling some duty to me or to the family by keeping me "informed" about all of the bad stuff that goes on around here.
Usually, my wife and I chastise our kids for telling. We say that being a tattle is not good. I believe that living in a free society requires that we do no ill to others, but it does not require that we be the eyes and ears of the State. Unless something real bad is about to happen to my friend or to some innocent, frankly I mind my own business. It's a judgment call, so it's a hard lesson to teach.
When you set out on a journey through life, one of the questions that you have to ask yourself is, "Am I on a mission to change the world to conform to what I think that it should be?" Or, alternatively, "Am I on a mission to change me to conform to the way I want to be?"
May I humbly suggest that we will all be more successful in our endeavors if our main efforts at change focus first and foremost on ourselves.
Just my opinion. What do you think?
All the best,
Hugh
Thursday, April 2, 2009
What Is A Man?
Dear Friend,
What does it mean to be a man? Today most men don't really know. While women are daily bombarded by idealized yet confused feminine images from the magazine racks, men too don't have a clue what they are supposed to be doing.
Typically, guys are stuck with two images of what a man is supposed to be. The first image is of a cad. He is an arrogant jerk. Superficial. He thinks with the wrong "head". A perpetual teenager. The second image is of an effeminate wet noodle. He every gal's best friend. In fact, he so much like you ladies that he's probably gay.
For those of us who want to celebrate the masculine without buying into either of the above two stereotypes, there is a third way. Author David Deida calls this the "Way of the Superior Man" in his book of the same title ((c) 2004 Sounds True, Inc.).
You see, a man can be powerful, driven, sensitive, loving, and very sexy, and still be a man. Today's men (and boys) just need better role models. And if they aren't getting that modeling from their fathers, then you moms will just have to do it yourselves. Get in touch with your inner masculine, gals, and show your sons what kind of man they really can be.
Talk with you soon,
Hugh
What does it mean to be a man? Today most men don't really know. While women are daily bombarded by idealized yet confused feminine images from the magazine racks, men too don't have a clue what they are supposed to be doing.
Typically, guys are stuck with two images of what a man is supposed to be. The first image is of a cad. He is an arrogant jerk. Superficial. He thinks with the wrong "head". A perpetual teenager. The second image is of an effeminate wet noodle. He every gal's best friend. In fact, he so much like you ladies that he's probably gay.
For those of us who want to celebrate the masculine without buying into either of the above two stereotypes, there is a third way. Author David Deida calls this the "Way of the Superior Man" in his book of the same title ((c) 2004 Sounds True, Inc.).
You see, a man can be powerful, driven, sensitive, loving, and very sexy, and still be a man. Today's men (and boys) just need better role models. And if they aren't getting that modeling from their fathers, then you moms will just have to do it yourselves. Get in touch with your inner masculine, gals, and show your sons what kind of man they really can be.
Talk with you soon,
Hugh
Communicating Bad News
Dear Friend,
Sometimes, when you have begun a journey to a new way of living, your earliest steps involve communicating your new direction to those closest to you. This sounds simple and exciting, but in fact change can be threatening to those around you.
Perhaps you have decided that you need to go in a new direction with your personal relationships. In that case your first act may be to tell a loved one that you no longer plan to be with them as much as you have been. Perhaps you have even decided that getting away from a person that you have been close to is a key first step to moving in your new direction. Either way, delivering bad news to another is never easy, and apparently hurting someone close to you at just the moment that you are experiencing joy is a bittersweet challenge.
The best way to do this is to just be honest. Despite your fears, just tell them what you are thinking. If your personal communication style lacks diplomacy, perhaps you should consider your words more carefully. The key is that you are not trying to hurt them. You do not want them to be sad. But you cannot put off your journey for fear of another's disappointment or inconvenience. They may not like it, but you have no choice, and neither do they.
This fear of hurting those around us is a huge barrier for some people who want to start implementing changes in their life but fear hurting those around them, or who just do not love themselves enough to think that they have the right to happiness if a change may inconvenience others.
You do have the right. And you owe it to yourself to act.
So be brave, look them in the eye, and tell them what you need to. Tell them that you love them. Then do what you have to do.
Know that these hard moments will end quickly. And you are going to love your new life!
All the best,
Hugh
Sometimes, when you have begun a journey to a new way of living, your earliest steps involve communicating your new direction to those closest to you. This sounds simple and exciting, but in fact change can be threatening to those around you.
Perhaps you have decided that you need to go in a new direction with your personal relationships. In that case your first act may be to tell a loved one that you no longer plan to be with them as much as you have been. Perhaps you have even decided that getting away from a person that you have been close to is a key first step to moving in your new direction. Either way, delivering bad news to another is never easy, and apparently hurting someone close to you at just the moment that you are experiencing joy is a bittersweet challenge.
The best way to do this is to just be honest. Despite your fears, just tell them what you are thinking. If your personal communication style lacks diplomacy, perhaps you should consider your words more carefully. The key is that you are not trying to hurt them. You do not want them to be sad. But you cannot put off your journey for fear of another's disappointment or inconvenience. They may not like it, but you have no choice, and neither do they.
This fear of hurting those around us is a huge barrier for some people who want to start implementing changes in their life but fear hurting those around them, or who just do not love themselves enough to think that they have the right to happiness if a change may inconvenience others.
You do have the right. And you owe it to yourself to act.
So be brave, look them in the eye, and tell them what you need to. Tell them that you love them. Then do what you have to do.
Know that these hard moments will end quickly. And you are going to love your new life!
All the best,
Hugh
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Passion Starts with Acceptance
Dear Friend,
What comes into your mind when you hear the words, "Passionate Warrior"? Do you imagine a romantic image of a powerful individual taking on the forces of life with an unseen strength? Or maybe you see something different?
These words were chosen carefully. They are meant to invoke emotion in you, and they are meant to contrast with your self image as it truly is, right now. How close do you feel right now to being a "Passionate Warrior" in your life? Do you charge headfirst into danger in pursuit of what matters to you most? Are you driven by unseen forces to achieve things that most people believe can't be achieved?
The label Passionate Warrior is a hard label to wear for most. An uncomfortable one. Because most of us feel that we are frauds. That we hold back, second guess, hesitate. That we can't be passionate about a life that we don't understand, one that is carrying us along rather than the other way around.
That's OK. You're not a fraud. You are you. And I am me. The label is an ideal. Ideals are beautiful, and in the end, they are fully true. But it takes time for each of us to accept ourselves in this new image. That is because so many parts of our ideal images have been formed by others. And we learned long ago that we do not fit into those others' ideal images. So we must be flawed. We were flawed in our parents' images. In our teachers'. In our bosses' images. Or at least we thought so at the time.
However, the disappointment that you were seeing those people's eyes was in fact their own disappointment in themselves projected out onto you. You can't be disappointed in you being fully you. And being fully you is the one thing in the world that everyone of us is really good at.
Still, it takes most of us a long time to come to terms with disappointment. And finally to come to terms with our disappointment in those others whose judgment we had accepted for so long.
Yet time really is a healer. Let it work it's magic. Be sure that you are ready to enter your passion mode before you start your journey on the Passionate Warrior path. Though it sounds like a journey begun with force and aggression, surprisingly it is not. The first steps down the road to a passionate life are gentle ones. These are the gentle steps of acceptance of what is. In you. In others, and in the universe itself.
Talk to you again soon,
Hugh
What comes into your mind when you hear the words, "Passionate Warrior"? Do you imagine a romantic image of a powerful individual taking on the forces of life with an unseen strength? Or maybe you see something different?
These words were chosen carefully. They are meant to invoke emotion in you, and they are meant to contrast with your self image as it truly is, right now. How close do you feel right now to being a "Passionate Warrior" in your life? Do you charge headfirst into danger in pursuit of what matters to you most? Are you driven by unseen forces to achieve things that most people believe can't be achieved?
The label Passionate Warrior is a hard label to wear for most. An uncomfortable one. Because most of us feel that we are frauds. That we hold back, second guess, hesitate. That we can't be passionate about a life that we don't understand, one that is carrying us along rather than the other way around.
That's OK. You're not a fraud. You are you. And I am me. The label is an ideal. Ideals are beautiful, and in the end, they are fully true. But it takes time for each of us to accept ourselves in this new image. That is because so many parts of our ideal images have been formed by others. And we learned long ago that we do not fit into those others' ideal images. So we must be flawed. We were flawed in our parents' images. In our teachers'. In our bosses' images. Or at least we thought so at the time.
However, the disappointment that you were seeing those people's eyes was in fact their own disappointment in themselves projected out onto you. You can't be disappointed in you being fully you. And being fully you is the one thing in the world that everyone of us is really good at.
Still, it takes most of us a long time to come to terms with disappointment. And finally to come to terms with our disappointment in those others whose judgment we had accepted for so long.
Yet time really is a healer. Let it work it's magic. Be sure that you are ready to enter your passion mode before you start your journey on the Passionate Warrior path. Though it sounds like a journey begun with force and aggression, surprisingly it is not. The first steps down the road to a passionate life are gentle ones. These are the gentle steps of acceptance of what is. In you. In others, and in the universe itself.
Talk to you again soon,
Hugh
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