Dear Friend,
I had a nice talk with my mom today. She'll soon be 74 and it's starting to show, tho' I don't let on. She just lost one of her older sisters, and I can see in her look that the prospect of life's end looms in her mind.
Like most parents and kids, there are things that my mom and I don't agree about. And she really does have the power to drive me insane if she is determined to. I could unload a mountain on her of what she loaded on us kids in our lifetimes.
But despite all of that. Despite all of the unfinished business between us. Despite all of the misunderstandings that will never be understood, I know that our time really is short now. So I'm just going to forget all of that and say, "Hi!" when I see her next. I'm just going to be a friend and listen. I think that's what adult children are for. What do you think?
All the best,
Hugh
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Emerging from the Gates of H*ll
Dear Friend,
A little over a week ago my sweet youngest daughter came home from her preschool class with the sniffles. Little did I know at the time that this insignificant event was actually the bloody tip of an influenza Blitzkrieg that would crush my little family like ants at a clogging convention.
Yes, that's right. The flu bug had a Pearl Harbor Day on the DeBurghs. For about five days I couldn't pull myself from bed or even see straight long enough to type a decent post. Of course my youngest is almost over it now, but it is slowly progressing through the rest of the family so I expect this to be a long week!
As my mind slowly awakens I will happily return to my explanation of the Way of the Passionate Warrior as a roadmap to personal peace and success.
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers!
All the best,
Hugh
A little over a week ago my sweet youngest daughter came home from her preschool class with the sniffles. Little did I know at the time that this insignificant event was actually the bloody tip of an influenza Blitzkrieg that would crush my little family like ants at a clogging convention.
Yes, that's right. The flu bug had a Pearl Harbor Day on the DeBurghs. For about five days I couldn't pull myself from bed or even see straight long enough to type a decent post. Of course my youngest is almost over it now, but it is slowly progressing through the rest of the family so I expect this to be a long week!
As my mind slowly awakens I will happily return to my explanation of the Way of the Passionate Warrior as a roadmap to personal peace and success.
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers!
All the best,
Hugh
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Doin' It the Hard Way
Dear Friend,
Why do some people always insist on doing things the hard way?
Why do folks intentionally make their lives harder than they ought to be when they don't have to? Why can't people just accept that, sometimes, the shortest distance between two points really is a straight line? Why can't these people just accept that happiness, peace and freedom are easy and cheap? And within anyone's grasp?
People want to believe that what they truly want in life is very hard to get. This helps to justify why they don't have it yet. But the logic is circular. It is because they make it hard to get that it is hard to get.
No one is standing in the way of your happiness, peace and freedom except you. Get out of your own way, and you'll have what you want.
How do you do this in your own life? Right now? Follow me as I introduce to you the Way of the Passionate Warrior. A blend of wisdom and drive that will put you exactly where you want to be in your life. These are skills and wisdom that will make you the director of your own life's play, instead of a mere spectator. You need this knowledge. Everyone does. Yet, historically, only a few have been privy to it. I will share it with you, if you choose.
I'm excited to work with you! I look forward to our time together.
Talk to you soon,
Hugh
Why do some people always insist on doing things the hard way?
Why do folks intentionally make their lives harder than they ought to be when they don't have to? Why can't people just accept that, sometimes, the shortest distance between two points really is a straight line? Why can't these people just accept that happiness, peace and freedom are easy and cheap? And within anyone's grasp?
People want to believe that what they truly want in life is very hard to get. This helps to justify why they don't have it yet. But the logic is circular. It is because they make it hard to get that it is hard to get.
No one is standing in the way of your happiness, peace and freedom except you. Get out of your own way, and you'll have what you want.
How do you do this in your own life? Right now? Follow me as I introduce to you the Way of the Passionate Warrior. A blend of wisdom and drive that will put you exactly where you want to be in your life. These are skills and wisdom that will make you the director of your own life's play, instead of a mere spectator. You need this knowledge. Everyone does. Yet, historically, only a few have been privy to it. I will share it with you, if you choose.
I'm excited to work with you! I look forward to our time together.
Talk to you soon,
Hugh
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Prison Break!
Dear Friend,
My kids, like most kids, are thrilled when they get a day off of school. Today, my youngest had a fever, and my oldest asked to stay home to act as babysitter. He's very good at this and it's cheaper than hiring one. But then he would miss a day of school.
My kids attend a non-traditional school where they advance at their own pace. As a result, most of the kids are way ahead of their public school counterparts. My oldest is several grades ahead of other kids his age, and, because he works at his own pace, missing a day here or there really doesn't matter.
My wife came from a strictly traditional background. She nixed the idea right off the bat. I was open to it. Is either of us right?
Kids are forced to go to school on a strict and routine schedule for several reasons.
First, if they are following a traditional curriculum, they will miss that day's lesson, and the information they miss may be critical to their score on an upcoming test. As I said, this factor does not apply for my son.
Second, they are being taught an important lesson - that you just have to force yourself sometimes to get out of bed and go to school, because if you learn that it's OK to let yourself start missing time whenever you feel like it, such behavior in the future job market will just get you fired.
Third, schools often act as babysitting services for working parents. No one will be home, and the children are too young or too potentially irresponsible to be left home alone. And the parents sure aren't going to spend good money on a babysitter, assuming that they could find one at the last minute which is doubtful, when free babysitting is available at the local public school.
Well, since in this case mom and dad work at home, and others are also here to help, the third reason doesn't hold up.
So it's down to number two.
I think that learning the discipline to get out of bed in the morning is a critical skill for any young person to learn. When they grow, they will set their eyes on a future target that is important to them, and they will need to achieve many intermediate steps along the way, some of which may not be much fun. If they fail to have the discipline to stick to their effort they will never achieve their greater goals.
In my son's case, and I think for most "tweeners" and teens, it is hard to see any greater goal that they are working towards. College seems so far away that it is almost impossible to contemplate. If he were in a traditional school and knew that, no matter what he did, he would probably have to wait until he was at least seventeen before he could get out with a diploma, school would look much more like a prison sentence with a fixed term to serve, rather than a goal to be achieved. The question would be, should I be a Trustee, always on my best behavior, and score points with the guards (get good grades), or just resent the fact that I'm being kept here for the heinous crime of being a kid at the start of the 21st Century?
Anyway, it doesn't matter much, 'cause his mom said he had to go and that's that.
Oh well. I feel for ya kid.
All the best,
Hugh
My kids, like most kids, are thrilled when they get a day off of school. Today, my youngest had a fever, and my oldest asked to stay home to act as babysitter. He's very good at this and it's cheaper than hiring one. But then he would miss a day of school.
My kids attend a non-traditional school where they advance at their own pace. As a result, most of the kids are way ahead of their public school counterparts. My oldest is several grades ahead of other kids his age, and, because he works at his own pace, missing a day here or there really doesn't matter.
My wife came from a strictly traditional background. She nixed the idea right off the bat. I was open to it. Is either of us right?
Kids are forced to go to school on a strict and routine schedule for several reasons.
First, if they are following a traditional curriculum, they will miss that day's lesson, and the information they miss may be critical to their score on an upcoming test. As I said, this factor does not apply for my son.
Second, they are being taught an important lesson - that you just have to force yourself sometimes to get out of bed and go to school, because if you learn that it's OK to let yourself start missing time whenever you feel like it, such behavior in the future job market will just get you fired.
Third, schools often act as babysitting services for working parents. No one will be home, and the children are too young or too potentially irresponsible to be left home alone. And the parents sure aren't going to spend good money on a babysitter, assuming that they could find one at the last minute which is doubtful, when free babysitting is available at the local public school.
Well, since in this case mom and dad work at home, and others are also here to help, the third reason doesn't hold up.
So it's down to number two.
I think that learning the discipline to get out of bed in the morning is a critical skill for any young person to learn. When they grow, they will set their eyes on a future target that is important to them, and they will need to achieve many intermediate steps along the way, some of which may not be much fun. If they fail to have the discipline to stick to their effort they will never achieve their greater goals.
In my son's case, and I think for most "tweeners" and teens, it is hard to see any greater goal that they are working towards. College seems so far away that it is almost impossible to contemplate. If he were in a traditional school and knew that, no matter what he did, he would probably have to wait until he was at least seventeen before he could get out with a diploma, school would look much more like a prison sentence with a fixed term to serve, rather than a goal to be achieved. The question would be, should I be a Trustee, always on my best behavior, and score points with the guards (get good grades), or just resent the fact that I'm being kept here for the heinous crime of being a kid at the start of the 21st Century?
Anyway, it doesn't matter much, 'cause his mom said he had to go and that's that.
Oh well. I feel for ya kid.
All the best,
Hugh
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Getting a Different Perspective, or Napping 101
Dear Friend,
On Sunday my family spent the day enjoying good weather. They walked by the shore, went shopping, and had a delicious dinner. I wasn't with them.
You see, I believe in spending quality time with my loved ones. And I do it as much as I can. But today I chose to be alone, and my wife let me.
Being alone once in a while is important. It can change your perspective on things. And if you are alone all of the time, you should make a special effort to spend time around those you care for. Change of environment is important for perspective. There are times that I form an opinion on something, and I'm confident in that opinion. Then, after an abrupt change of environment, everything looks different, and I am no longer so certain. Or uncertainty turns to confidence.
Changing your surroundings can change the character of the world around you, and you with it. So I try to do this as much as I can.
Being alone in particular is important because it forces you to come face to face with you. It is through being alone that you can begin to accept all aspects of you, the good and the not so good. When you are with others you will tend to emphasize your "public" face. This is those aspects of your persona that you believe others will like the most. But when you are alone, you can, if you choose, dare to begin to examine those aspects of you that you keep hidden from others.
Self-actualization requires that we embrace without judgment all aspects of our true self. A fully actualized person is at peace with the world because they are at peace within themselves. At some point in your life you must introduce yourself to your hidden personas. You must accept them as a part of you even if you don't like them much. You must come to love what you don't like about yourself, if you get my drift.
I could have spent my day on Sunday getting in touch with my "dark side." However, I was sleepy so I just took a long nap. That's good too, don't ya think?
Sometimes it's just good to relax. ;-)
Wishing you and yours a great week!
Hugh
On Sunday my family spent the day enjoying good weather. They walked by the shore, went shopping, and had a delicious dinner. I wasn't with them.
You see, I believe in spending quality time with my loved ones. And I do it as much as I can. But today I chose to be alone, and my wife let me.
Being alone once in a while is important. It can change your perspective on things. And if you are alone all of the time, you should make a special effort to spend time around those you care for. Change of environment is important for perspective. There are times that I form an opinion on something, and I'm confident in that opinion. Then, after an abrupt change of environment, everything looks different, and I am no longer so certain. Or uncertainty turns to confidence.
Changing your surroundings can change the character of the world around you, and you with it. So I try to do this as much as I can.
Being alone in particular is important because it forces you to come face to face with you. It is through being alone that you can begin to accept all aspects of you, the good and the not so good. When you are with others you will tend to emphasize your "public" face. This is those aspects of your persona that you believe others will like the most. But when you are alone, you can, if you choose, dare to begin to examine those aspects of you that you keep hidden from others.
Self-actualization requires that we embrace without judgment all aspects of our true self. A fully actualized person is at peace with the world because they are at peace within themselves. At some point in your life you must introduce yourself to your hidden personas. You must accept them as a part of you even if you don't like them much. You must come to love what you don't like about yourself, if you get my drift.
I could have spent my day on Sunday getting in touch with my "dark side." However, I was sleepy so I just took a long nap. That's good too, don't ya think?
Sometimes it's just good to relax. ;-)
Wishing you and yours a great week!
Hugh
Friday, March 20, 2009
Sign Up For That E-Course!
Dear Friend,
Unless you just landed from Mars you are quite aware of the recent financial insanity that has descended onto the world. A respected financial newsletter I follow stated that about 40% of the world's wealth has disappeared. This is hard to understand unless you are an economist, but needless to say it does not bode well for the average person's immediate future lifestyle.
What actually disappeared was the world's willingness to part with modern currency (money) in exchange for mechanisms that produce more money (investments). Since all of the financial markets on Earth are connected, when confidence in a big one falls (USA), they all fall down like a house of cards.
I'm not going to try and analyze why all of this happened. Plenty of people much more knowledgeable than me do that every day (and they are probably wrong!). But what I do want to talk about is how you can ensure that future financial debacles do not threaten your wealth.
First, you have to understand what wealth really is. Wealth is the degree to which you can persuade others to do what you want them to do, when you want them to do it. And there are three types of wealth, or of tools that you can use to get what you need from people. They are, in ascending degree of value, as follows: 1) force or threat of force (coercion), 2) tangible assets or money, and 3) knowledge and wisdom.
Coercion is the oldest and least powerful way to motivate others to help you. Yet, it continues to be used everyday by thugs and by governments to make people do things. The actions of thugs are obvious. But be aware that any law has meaning only to the degree that behind it, somewhere, is the image of a policeman and a gun. Government is the application of brute force, plain and simple. At least that's how George Washington described it.
The second best way to get what you want from people, and the most commonly used today, is to pay them. Employees and independent contractors work for you in exchange for money. Perhaps you work for others for money. "Money makes the world go around," is the old adage. The big weakness of money is that it has to be "stored" somehow after earning, and maintained. And there are so many ways to lose your money. I like to say that it is ten times harder to hold onto money than it is to earn it. That's why there are so many high-paid people but so few truly wealthy people. Having a lot of money can be a liability of sorts. And once you have it, you may feel the need to spend it on material things that you never really needed anyway. You may even fall under the common spell that material wealth will bring you happiness.
The best way to get people to do what you want them to do is to utilize knowledge and wisdom. For example, you can use your persuasive powers. Or you can utilize a carefully-crafted skill to earn just enough money at just the right moment. You can then use that newly-created money to get what you want. For these folks, there is no money storage issue. There is no loss of assets in a stock market crash or government mismanagement of the economy. With the power of persuasion and the knowledge and skills to make money on demand, you, in effect, become an ATM. You produce what you need. Like a government, you can (metaphorically speaking of course) print your own money.
It is the third method of persuasion that many people running Internet businesses are attempting to harness. Since the technologies are new, nobody really knows how to make it all work. But most of us in this field implicitly already know what I have just written. And, going into the 21st Century, it is more important than ever to convert your old, paper money into persuasive skills and knowledge. You will be investing in an asset that, at least at this point in history, nobody can steal from you.
So, by all means, order that new Internet wealth course. And attend that seminar on how to better persuade others. It will be the best investment that today's money can buy.
Thanks for following and all the best,
Hugh
Unless you just landed from Mars you are quite aware of the recent financial insanity that has descended onto the world. A respected financial newsletter I follow stated that about 40% of the world's wealth has disappeared. This is hard to understand unless you are an economist, but needless to say it does not bode well for the average person's immediate future lifestyle.
What actually disappeared was the world's willingness to part with modern currency (money) in exchange for mechanisms that produce more money (investments). Since all of the financial markets on Earth are connected, when confidence in a big one falls (USA), they all fall down like a house of cards.
I'm not going to try and analyze why all of this happened. Plenty of people much more knowledgeable than me do that every day (and they are probably wrong!). But what I do want to talk about is how you can ensure that future financial debacles do not threaten your wealth.
First, you have to understand what wealth really is. Wealth is the degree to which you can persuade others to do what you want them to do, when you want them to do it. And there are three types of wealth, or of tools that you can use to get what you need from people. They are, in ascending degree of value, as follows: 1) force or threat of force (coercion), 2) tangible assets or money, and 3) knowledge and wisdom.
Coercion is the oldest and least powerful way to motivate others to help you. Yet, it continues to be used everyday by thugs and by governments to make people do things. The actions of thugs are obvious. But be aware that any law has meaning only to the degree that behind it, somewhere, is the image of a policeman and a gun. Government is the application of brute force, plain and simple. At least that's how George Washington described it.
The second best way to get what you want from people, and the most commonly used today, is to pay them. Employees and independent contractors work for you in exchange for money. Perhaps you work for others for money. "Money makes the world go around," is the old adage. The big weakness of money is that it has to be "stored" somehow after earning, and maintained. And there are so many ways to lose your money. I like to say that it is ten times harder to hold onto money than it is to earn it. That's why there are so many high-paid people but so few truly wealthy people. Having a lot of money can be a liability of sorts. And once you have it, you may feel the need to spend it on material things that you never really needed anyway. You may even fall under the common spell that material wealth will bring you happiness.
The best way to get people to do what you want them to do is to utilize knowledge and wisdom. For example, you can use your persuasive powers. Or you can utilize a carefully-crafted skill to earn just enough money at just the right moment. You can then use that newly-created money to get what you want. For these folks, there is no money storage issue. There is no loss of assets in a stock market crash or government mismanagement of the economy. With the power of persuasion and the knowledge and skills to make money on demand, you, in effect, become an ATM. You produce what you need. Like a government, you can (metaphorically speaking of course) print your own money.
It is the third method of persuasion that many people running Internet businesses are attempting to harness. Since the technologies are new, nobody really knows how to make it all work. But most of us in this field implicitly already know what I have just written. And, going into the 21st Century, it is more important than ever to convert your old, paper money into persuasive skills and knowledge. You will be investing in an asset that, at least at this point in history, nobody can steal from you.
So, by all means, order that new Internet wealth course. And attend that seminar on how to better persuade others. It will be the best investment that today's money can buy.
Thanks for following and all the best,
Hugh
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
The Great Coffee Heist
Dear Friend,
Yesterday morning, like most every weekday morning, I drove the kids to school and then headed over to a nearby coffee place to pick up a cup of my wife's favorite java. However, this morning was different. Now, I don't know whether I was just zonked out from the previous late night's work or what, but after carefully mixing her favorite formula of hazelnut coffee and Irish cream, I promptly walked out of the door. Yes, that's right, I forgot to pay.
Well, I was oblivious to this until I got about ten minutes down the road, when it hit me. I turned around at the next light and went back. When I got there I just walked up to the counter and paid. I am certain that the lady never knew what had happened.
Look, I know that this isn't exactly the riveting story of a great bank heist or something. It was just a cup of coffee. But me being me, I started to think about why I had done as I did (going back), and what other people might have done, and why. In the end, this silly coffee story addresses one of the most interesting questions that you can ask - "Why do people behave the way they do?"
After thinking on this deep question that grew out of a coffee theft I realized a few simple truths:
People do good either because they are acting on 1) fear, 2) programming (Momma said so) or 3) our deepest personal values. I also realized that society benefits regardless of our motive for doing good, but that we can never be truly happy unless our moral behavior is guided from our own personal core. Even when doing good, if you are doing it because that's what you were taught, you won't feel truly connected to that good act. True fulfillment comes from acting on our inner impulse, tempered with compassion and a steadfast respect for all beings.
So, do not fear challenging your most sacred personal programming. Even if you believe that what you were taught is true and right, only by challenging it can you make it truly your own. In this way you form your inner moral core, from which will spring your greatest sense of personal satisfaction.
Wow! How did that come from a cup of coffee? I need to get a hobby...
All the best,
Hugh
Yesterday morning, like most every weekday morning, I drove the kids to school and then headed over to a nearby coffee place to pick up a cup of my wife's favorite java. However, this morning was different. Now, I don't know whether I was just zonked out from the previous late night's work or what, but after carefully mixing her favorite formula of hazelnut coffee and Irish cream, I promptly walked out of the door. Yes, that's right, I forgot to pay.
Well, I was oblivious to this until I got about ten minutes down the road, when it hit me. I turned around at the next light and went back. When I got there I just walked up to the counter and paid. I am certain that the lady never knew what had happened.
Look, I know that this isn't exactly the riveting story of a great bank heist or something. It was just a cup of coffee. But me being me, I started to think about why I had done as I did (going back), and what other people might have done, and why. In the end, this silly coffee story addresses one of the most interesting questions that you can ask - "Why do people behave the way they do?"
After thinking on this deep question that grew out of a coffee theft I realized a few simple truths:
People do good either because they are acting on 1) fear, 2) programming (Momma said so) or 3) our deepest personal values. I also realized that society benefits regardless of our motive for doing good, but that we can never be truly happy unless our moral behavior is guided from our own personal core. Even when doing good, if you are doing it because that's what you were taught, you won't feel truly connected to that good act. True fulfillment comes from acting on our inner impulse, tempered with compassion and a steadfast respect for all beings.
So, do not fear challenging your most sacred personal programming. Even if you believe that what you were taught is true and right, only by challenging it can you make it truly your own. In this way you form your inner moral core, from which will spring your greatest sense of personal satisfaction.
Wow! How did that come from a cup of coffee? I need to get a hobby...
All the best,
Hugh
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